tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49178000907837417422024-02-06T19:34:58.485-08:00Third Eye TribalAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-2561496140588263842016-03-25T06:14:00.000-07:002016-05-09T17:06:53.373-07:00NC Bellydance and Activism<br />
<br />
Last night I attended a rally with 500+ North Carolinian's who were protesting a law passed yesterday that, among other things, prevents local municipalities from passing anti-discrimination laws protecting transgender citizens. This is embarrassing, disheartening and in general a real downer so why am I writing about it in a bellydance blog that claims to promote "joy and happiness in your personal relationships."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1ap9ULgzIL8yIAW-gsmuz-4H84VeL_xg2n4bzcky0A_SsfyH65vJm-CKULPBOy3HQGj3Zp-yzq0avgy2b25oqkDCO5lo5-cGu25T5i7-eAkl-X0lGR2g-F7TLssFBhU_qYz-kVLnQ4opp/s1600/IMG_1205.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="71" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1ap9ULgzIL8yIAW-gsmuz-4H84VeL_xg2n4bzcky0A_SsfyH65vJm-CKULPBOy3HQGj3Zp-yzq0avgy2b25oqkDCO5lo5-cGu25T5i7-eAkl-X0lGR2g-F7TLssFBhU_qYz-kVLnQ4opp/s320/IMG_1205.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Protest rally last night in Raleigh, photo credit: John Golchin</td></tr>
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<br />
That is a good question. <br />
<br />
There are people in our dance community who are gay, lesbian, transgender, gender fluid, gender queer and/or just don't buy into the binary gender thing and we should support them! But that is not the reason.<br />
<br />
I am the Mom of a lesbian teenager and I want everyone to understand that a world filled with fear and hate is no kind of world for her to grow up in. So true, but that is not the reason.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-QnLfBamn80yvhVnjBkkRjppAfBu8TS-SneidyOyi4QPOAQ9ngwS7P8xZUgoeViRGMYmEx5PxQIOxKn0sxLNdOlm8HBheM3aWFNX6kwRq4AkRi08VJyzapweAR_v-ZY-Olc0_cmZqyLeo/s1600/12039696_10206792018215717_6211153688798529163_n+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-QnLfBamn80yvhVnjBkkRjppAfBu8TS-SneidyOyi4QPOAQ9ngwS7P8xZUgoeViRGMYmEx5PxQIOxKn0sxLNdOlm8HBheM3aWFNX6kwRq4AkRi08VJyzapweAR_v-ZY-Olc0_cmZqyLeo/s320/12039696_10206792018215717_6211153688798529163_n+%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My daughter and I at an LGBT march</td></tr>
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<br />
I consider ATS (R) a feminist form of bellydance because of the emphasis placed on shared leadership, supporting other dancers by using clear communication, and accepting everyone without regard to size, shape, ethnicity, sexual orientation... But that is still not the reason.<br />
<br />
I am a social worker who teaches other social workers about the importance of standing up for marginalized and oppressed populations. Not the reason.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1YWSQpQAgumrkt7rhYqfpyhZK89EteTJMekDGpPWKZNX5fKDEoQknM4h3m4HzoVgMp9QnmCN5JtP4liw0ocUR37J2E4ZlGZnpW5kJ7CzmrRZGDAxwmsVxXPUa-nr7pwlWVbKv_CbhzRkS/s1600/12814550_10208016573748840_1328280256930965721_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1YWSQpQAgumrkt7rhYqfpyhZK89EteTJMekDGpPWKZNX5fKDEoQknM4h3m4HzoVgMp9QnmCN5JtP4liw0ocUR37J2E4ZlGZnpW5kJ7CzmrRZGDAxwmsVxXPUa-nr7pwlWVbKv_CbhzRkS/s320/12814550_10208016573748840_1328280256930965721_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My students at NCSU School of Social Work</td></tr>
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<br />
My boyfriend is a Muslim who immigrated to the US as a child. That means in this political climate the people I love are getting slammed from every direction. How can people not see that these issues are all connected? Even that isn't the reason.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4ocljkbEc8eRkk_1hGG28V43OcwRfY06o81HXbWr9ulmCJ7UizWOAzRtU-muZVHR3GHtvwvCVXbkCQt-MkWnJkSvDaDYM-sE5OAtYCKVeUQV4rOryFQBuo2FLqsu7uFBIZc52ADt1LZIX/s1600/12111913_10206909305107816_250041888268336644_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4ocljkbEc8eRkk_1hGG28V43OcwRfY06o81HXbWr9ulmCJ7UizWOAzRtU-muZVHR3GHtvwvCVXbkCQt-MkWnJkSvDaDYM-sE5OAtYCKVeUQV4rOryFQBuo2FLqsu7uFBIZc52ADt1LZIX/s320/12111913_10206909305107816_250041888268336644_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My boyfriend and me</td></tr>
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<br />
The reason it is important to talk about this issue in a bellydance blog is the same reason it is important to talk about while waiting on your daughter to finish dance class and while waiting for your oil change and while cooling down at the gym. The reason it is important to talk about can be summarized best by Pastor Martin Niemöller when he talked about personal and collective responsibility in WWII.<br />
<br />
“In Germany they came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade
unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I
didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to
speak up.” --Pastor Martin Niemöller, 1945<br />
<br />
I just listed all the reasons I have to speak up and they are good reasons. Maybe you don't have a Muslim boyfriend or a lesbian daughter, but if we don't talk about homophobia and transphobia, racism and sexism, economic disparity and all of the other issues that are important to our brothers and sisters NOW, then when?<br />
<br />
I will leave you with one final quote:<br />
<br />
"We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." Elie Wiesel<br />
<br />
by Lisa Allred, LCSW<br />
Opinions are my own. Well, Terri agrees too.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-75359396770471289022015-11-06T12:01:00.005-08:002015-11-06T14:15:34.714-08:00Communication: Electronic or In Person?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibiYFlSJykBLHb7yGT1OvSuQPviNoZkr6xzVy4WZmUS3-5RhAXOTiTtSIjDAkFqitC2fdMvJjHY_Bduotlcyp14JIEJ494pygCnU05zNtY8KxKjmi9v0NOWGPw2ovpxnQ7T7TLbwUGynbm/s1600/12037966_10206947248336373_1177788933534338464_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibiYFlSJykBLHb7yGT1OvSuQPviNoZkr6xzVy4WZmUS3-5RhAXOTiTtSIjDAkFqitC2fdMvJjHY_Bduotlcyp14JIEJ494pygCnU05zNtY8KxKjmi9v0NOWGPw2ovpxnQ7T7TLbwUGynbm/s320/12037966_10206947248336373_1177788933534338464_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When my daughter and I dressed as each other for Halloween, <br />
the nonverbal communication was a huge part of our costume!</td></tr>
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<br />
So much of what I used to do as a therapist and what Terri and I do as consultants is to help people with communication: with spouses, children, parents, co-workers, troupemates, and friends. This got me thinking about the ways we communicate and how different they are than when I was growing up. I often see people choosing to say difficult things via email or text. With electronic communication, we don't have to deal as directly with someone else's disappointment, or worse, anger. In an text or email, people are much more likely to say things harshly, or to have the things written be interpreted harshly, since there is no ability to observe body language or to clarify in real time.<br />
<br />
I wondered if there is there any research that helps us know which method of communication is best for particular situations? Well, as you can predict (or else why would this be an interesting blog, right?); there is!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5GsBQ-ZdD1kANn5bFIUWXb74hrBy1xEghkxq_BIl1oJgpU-bf7uK-9JwZUbxRZlxgMlgLg-HUwpvPtUWe5fVSOSm5KLL-tJpiFLqOd7K1hS-ZoKn-yAADgoKLi9ftNvqCm2PszFxOcKaM/s1600/11428042_10206044928218934_4678261068755771278_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5GsBQ-ZdD1kANn5bFIUWXb74hrBy1xEghkxq_BIl1oJgpU-bf7uK-9JwZUbxRZlxgMlgLg-HUwpvPtUWe5fVSOSm5KLL-tJpiFLqOd7K1hS-ZoKn-yAADgoKLi9ftNvqCm2PszFxOcKaM/s320/11428042_10206044928218934_4678261068755771278_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our sister, Kristin, and my boyfriend Hasan. Hmmm</td></tr>
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<br />
The results of the research are pretty clear. If building trust is important, in-person communication works the best! This is true for several reasons:<br />
<br />
1- We touch each other. Formal business meetings usually start with a handshake. Visits with friends or family often start with hugs. I went to an Albanian wedding with my boyfriend, and was greeted by everyone with 3 kisses to the cheek. It took me a minute, but then I figured out to go right, left, and then right again! Even brief touch, like shaking hands, can cause the centers of the brain associated with rewards to activate. Touch increases cooperation, promotes good feelings and results in more positive interactions.<br />
<br />
2- We are able to gauge consistency between words and body language. If words and body language are consistent, we are more trusting. You might not know a lot about reading people's body language, but nonetheless, you will pick up on things you aren't even conscious of, for example, a person's eyes dilating when they are happy.<br />
<br />
3- We mirror other peoples' emotions. This is called emotional contagion. If you just need to share factual information, an email is fine, but if you need to encourage excitement, in-person is better.<br />
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4- Finally, for all of the reasons above, we tend to like people more when we meet with them in person.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6q2Grqah0LFUipzSI2xstz82FdfRMZkGZ_50ob_YMbeXWd7XsTFbwmHTS5xsDNk7rmHhVL0EvyeaMkyT3QdjZbA9m_4VhEJAZ6W-m8d0yDnGr1IOWDmOhjC9wuj2ThobZKCF4Q9qySgG8/s1600/12190864_10206960256541570_4842720927875202691_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6q2Grqah0LFUipzSI2xstz82FdfRMZkGZ_50ob_YMbeXWd7XsTFbwmHTS5xsDNk7rmHhVL0EvyeaMkyT3QdjZbA9m_4VhEJAZ6W-m8d0yDnGr1IOWDmOhjC9wuj2ThobZKCF4Q9qySgG8/s320/12190864_10206960256541570_4842720927875202691_n.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My daughter, Kristin, who like my sister, her namesake, <br />
is a master of nonverbal communication</td></tr>
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<br />
So what if we can't communicate in person? Don't despair.<br />
<br />
The next best choice is video chatting. That works 80% as well as an in-person meeting. After that comes audio chat, followed by texting or IM.<br />
<br />
I know what some of you are thinking... that you are not, have never been, and never will be comfortable talking about difficult things in person. Stay tuned for Part 2 where we will address that very issue!<br />
<br />
Here are some articles in case you want to read more about this topic:<br />
<br />
http://www.fastcompany.com/3051518/the-future-of-work/the-science-of-when-you-need-in-person-communication<br />
http://www.cyberpsychology.eu/view.php?cisloclanku=2013071101<br />
http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2015/08/how-to-talk-to-your-mother/<br />
<br />
xoxoxo,<br />
<br />
LisaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-38339683761738094172015-10-19T10:09:00.000-07:002015-10-19T10:09:11.373-07:00Keeping our sisters (and brothers) safeMany years ago I attended a bellydance event in another community. The husband of the dancer who was organizing the event was there the entire weekend. I commented on how great it was that he was so supportive. The dancer I was with told me that he beats his wife and won't let her out of his sight because he doesn't trust her. <br />
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I really can't explain why this surprised me. At the time I had been working as a clinical social worker in the field of family violence for over 2 decades. I know that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men are victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner during their lifetimes (CDC, 2010). Over the years, countless people (upon hearing what I do for a living) had disclosed their stories of sexual and physical violence. I know that family violence can happen to anyone regardless of socioeconomic level, race, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion, etc. So why was I surprised?<br />
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When I walk into a dance studio it is like a sacred space. Dance is my form of meditation and the dancers are my community. It feels safe and good and somehow protected. But I KNOW that there are women who enter the studio who are being emotionally or physically abused when they go home after class. Statistically, in a class of 20, there are at least 6 of us who have experienced intimate partner violence. <br />
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I believe there is an opportunity for those of us who dance to hold our sisters up and let them know that they are not alone. This can be as simple as leaving brochures from the local domestic violence program in the studio restroom. Don't know anything about the local program? Search "[name of your county] domestic violence" or go to the <a href="http://www.ncadv.org/" target="_blank">National Coalition Against Domestic Violence</a> website.<br />
<br />
Want to do a little more? Educate yourself about domestic violence. Go to the National Coalition website. Read some of the fact sheets and learn about the types of power and control that can occur in an abusive relationship. Physical violence is only one of many abusive behaviors. Read about how to recognize signs of a potentially abusive partner. I call them "red flags" and they can include things that might seem flattering at first... wanting to spend all his/her time with you, constantly texting you to see where you are, telling you what he/she likes you to wear. Tell your friends about what you learned.<br />
<br />
Want to do even more? Consider making the local DV program the recipient of any profits from your next hafla. Check with your local DV shelter and see what they need right now (most don't have space for storage). Put a cardboard box in the corner of the studio to collect toilet paper, diapers, hair care products, etc.<br />
<br />
If you want to talk further about this topic, get in touch with me or Terri. We both have extensive professional experience working in the field of family violence.<br />
<br />
xoxoxoxo,<br />
<br />
Lisa<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-76689215573963529302015-09-30T06:37:00.001-07:002015-09-30T06:44:01.168-07:00Victim Blaming: Why We Feel Safer When We Blame Others and Ourselves<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
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<span style="color: #434343; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Victim blaming can be defined as
“putting blame for the occurrence of a traumatizing event on the survivor
instead of blaming the perpetrator.” (1)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Victim blaming occurs in many contexts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Homeless people are blamed for not being able
to support themselves, targets of bullying are blamed for not “standing up to
the bully,” robbery victims are blamed for walking down the street wearing flashy jewelry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, we would like to
discuss victim blaming in the context of sexual violence and objectification.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Social Context of Victim Blaming</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The phenomenon of victim blaming is common in hate crimes,
discrimination, rape and bullying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Victim-blaming doesn’t occur in a vacuum, the social context that gives rise to it occurs when a
perpetrator of crime enjoys a privileged social status, authority or power over
the victim. Most sexual and family violence is perpetrated by members of a
privileged group (men) upon members of an unprivileged group (women, children, weaker men). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Perpetrators, bystanders, society and even victims themselves
practice and enforce victim blaming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Each group does so for different reasons based on their power or lack
thereof, self defense and desire to find logical reasons for abuse or social
injustice." (3)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Why do Offenders Blame the Victim?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This may be the easiest to understand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Offenders blame their victims in order to
avoid punishment and maintain the freedom to abuse in the future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have both worked extensively with
offenders of sexual and domestic violence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
every single case, the offender had a sense of entitlement over their victims
because they had some form of power over their
victims (age, financial control, size, threat of emotional or physical harm, etc.).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was the case for hands-off
offenders and hands-on offenders.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Making the victim completely or partially responsible for their
behavior allows offenders to abdicate responsibility while at the same time
staying in a position of power.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
reasoning follows that if she (sic) hadn’t dressed skimpily, agreed to my authority by marrying/dating me, smiled
at me, etc. then I wouldn’t have targeted her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One time I (Terri) was working with a man who broke into women’s
houses and raped them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He described a situation where he was pumping gas and a woman smiled at him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He followed her home and began casing
her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I asked why, he said that she
obviously wanted to have sex with him, because she had smiled at him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These errors in
thinking are called cognitive distortions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Types of cognitive distortions include rationalizing, justifying, minimizing, and blaming the victim.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Why do Others (bystanders, society) Blame the Victim?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Victim blaming occurs for several reasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, it occurs because we don’t want to
acknowledge our own vulnerability.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“When
bad things happen to good people, it implies that no one is safe, that no
matter how good we are, we too could be vulnerable.” (1)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I (Lisa) have worked a lot with rape survivors and one day I realized that despite my training and knowledge, I was doing this too. As a way to feel less vulnerable I was carefully avoiding mall parking lots, certain apartment complexes, meeting men at bars, etc. because those were all ways I knew that survivors had crossed paths with rapists. It is human nature to look for ways we are different than anyone who experiences a traumatic event in an effort to feel that false sense of security. </span> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This phenomenon is called the Just World Theory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the idea that bad things only happen to
people who did something to deserve it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“If an event establishes the world as unjust, people put the victim at
fault or try to convince themselves and others that no injustice has
occurred.”(3)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Victim blaming also occurs when we as a culture or community
resist holding the actual offender responsible for the behavior in question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This reasoning follows that someone has to be
to blame for the bad behavior, and we know that the offender is a good guy; so it must have been the victim.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In our experience, victims of sexual or family violence are
believed more often when there are aggravating factors in place such as
physical injury (not just emotional) or the offender is a stranger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is almost as if the victim has to meet
certain criteria to remain un-blamed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Victims of “hands-off” offenses (like sexual harassment, voyeurism, verbal bullying, and
emotional abuse) are often faced with disbelief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Why Do Victims Blame Themselves?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because all of us live in this culture where rampant victim-blaming occurs, victims are not immune to this socialization. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> In addition, b</span>y blaming himself or
herself, the victim re-gains the sense of control that was lost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, if I never walk alone at night
again, I won’t be attacked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“By taking
responsibility for the actions taken against them, victims feel that if they
avoid the behavior that purportedly caused their abuse, the will avoid the
abuse again.”(3)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>What Can You Do About Victim-Blaming Behavior?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #1a1a1a;">Challenge victim-blaming statements when you hear or read them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #1a1a1a;">Let survivors know that it isn’t their fault.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #1a1a1a;">Hold abusers accountable for their actions without minimization,
blame or excuses.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #1a1a1a;">Acknowledge that survivors are their own best experts.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #1a1a1a;"><b>Resources:</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a;">(1) <a href="http://www2.humboldt.edu/stoprape/definitions.html" target="_blank">St</a></span><span style="color: #434343;"><span style="color: #2f8863; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://www2.humboldt.edu/stoprape/definitions.html" target="_blank">op Rape: Humboldt State University</a></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(2) <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-love-and-war/201311/why-do-we-blame-victims" target="_blank">Why Do We Blame Victims</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(3)<a href="http://digitalcommons.uri.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1032&context=glbtc" target="_blank">Victim-Blaming: A New Term for an Old Trend</a></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-62086595964092956082015-09-23T08:01:00.000-07:002015-09-23T12:30:38.114-07:00Understanding the Sexual Objectification of Women<div class="MsoNormal">
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<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Sexual Objectification of Women</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">There is currently a lot of conversation in our community about the sexual objectification of women. Many dancers have written eloquently on why it is an
important issue. We hope to add to this dialogue by defining the term and
giving some examples. Unlike our average blog, this one
will contain citations and a bibliography. Because of the nature and
timing of this blog, it is important that we not just share our own experience,
but also point you in the right direction if you are interested in reading
more. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">To<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><i>objectify</i><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>someone is to view them as an object,
rather than as a subject, or a human with feelings, thoughts, opinions and
value. To <i>sexually objectify</i> someone is to view a person as an instrument
of sexual pleasure. Objectification occurs in interpersonal relationships
and in the broader culture as pornography, prostitution, sexual harassment, and sexualized representation of women in mass media.(1) Sexual
objectification is not the same as sexual attraction. Sexual
objectification occurs when the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><b><i>individuality</i></b><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>of the desired person is<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><b><i>not</i></b><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>acknowledged or recognized.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The dehumanization that results from objectification
can cause a host of problems for the subject, object and community.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Impact of sexual objectification on the person who is
being objectified</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">When people are objectified, they are
denied personhood. Research indicates that objectified women are seen as
less competent, sincere, moral and intelligent.(2,3) Further, exposure to sexualized images of women negatively impacts how
the male viewer perceives other women (not just the woman being pictured).(2)
Objectification not only harms the women who are objectified but also harms
<i>women in general</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Impact of sexual objectification on women in general</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Each individual act of sexual objectification has
consequences. When many representations of women are
sexualized (i.e., objectified), a “rape culture” develops, where women are
blamed when they are victimized and rape is trivialized.(7) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Further, women who grow up in a culture with widespread sexual
objectification tend to internalize those messages. This is called
“internalized self-objectification.” If you grow up in a culture that
objectifies women you will do this to some extent without even realizing
it. This internalization can result in issues including eating disorders,
depression, body shame, sexual dysfunction, depression, and substance
abuse.(4) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Impact of sexual objectification on the person who is
objectifying another:</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">There are negative implications for the person who is
doing the objectifying as well. If you discount a person’s feelings,
thoughts, and dreams, instead focusing on their appearance, they become less
than real to you. Carole Heldman, PhD, has found that exposure to images
of sexually objectified women causes male viewers to be more tolerant of sexual
harassment and rape myths.(5)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">What can I do?</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">First, remember that people who are objectified
respond in different ways. Some, particularly those with a history of
sexual violation, may be deeply impacted by an instance that another person
might consider a nuisance. You can respect each person’s unique response
and offer support accordingly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Second, remember that the impact of objectification extends
far beyond the people targeted to the entire community. Just as the ones
objectified have varying responses, so do those in our community.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Third, remember that demonizing the people who acted
in ways that objectify others is a form of objectification in and of itself.
Holding people accountable for these attitudes and actions is
appropriate. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">This is a deep topic and we will be exploring more facets of this issue over the next several weeks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Be kind to yourself and others, breathe and let us
know if you need anything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Terri and Lisa<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">If there is a topic you would like us to blog about,
just let us know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Notes:</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">(1) </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><a href="https://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/03/23/faq-what-is-sexual-objectification/">https://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/03/23/faq-what-is-sexual-objectification/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">(2)</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-questions/201106/the-sexual-objectification-spillover-effect">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-questions/201106/the-sexual-objectification-spillover-effect</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">(3)</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-questions/201008/sexualized-women-are-seen-objects-studies-find">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-big-questions/201008/sexualized-women-are-seen-objects-studies-find</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">(4)</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Asking-It-Alarming-Culture-about/dp/0738217026" target="_blank">Asking for It: The Alarming Rise of Rape Culture and What We
Can Do About It by Kate Harding</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">(5)</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> <a href="http://educoup.com/2013/04/20/the-disease-of-sexual-objectification-inside-a-society-that-turns-women-into-things/">http://educoup.com/2013/04/20/the-disease-of-sexual-objectification-inside-a-society-that-turns-women-into-things/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-533351647289259032015-09-14T09:58:00.000-07:002015-09-14T09:58:39.414-07:00Challenging Unkind Behavior<br />
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Do you ever read a rant about a dancer on Facebook? Have you overheard dancers at a show commenting negatively about others? Have you ever been to a bellydance event where there was clearly an "in" group who were not friendly to dancers unless they were "important"? How do you feel about challenging these behaviors when you see/hear/read them? How do you decide when challenging the unkind behavior is better than ignoring it?<br />
<br />
In this blog, I am going to talk about challenging unkind behavior in the dance community by applying some ideas from research on bystander behavior and confronting racism. Our ultimate goal is to respond to unkind behavior in such a way that the other person can hear our feedback. This isn't always easy to do and getting better at it is a process. <br />
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Initially, we may find that we are only able to identify unkind behavior (our own or someone else's) after the fact, maybe because someone else points it out to us. Eventually, we are able to recognize the behavior at the time it occurs. Ultimately, we want to be able to decide the best way to respond at the time the behavior occurs. Sometimes this means choosing to respond later in private. Sometimes it means responding immediately. <br />
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So how do you respond?<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Discussion</b> T<b>ips for Challenging Unkind Behavior</b>:<br />
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<b>Discuss the person being disparaged in the context of your relationship to them</b><br />
<i>Mary is an ATS(R) dancer from my community. She may not have a lot of skill, but she is kind and friendly and really eager to learn.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQFuev7zVOfKPlqb5kKb1fRtor-kYeJmflzG3kled5yKSqbHg-RrsJDg3vmbnHWDRtM6TbWHHba2HjaqyHsG1Oy1NPZAZQzjjBP-4jR8oGAHqqU0F19PPWp4i-kgiFdzr9Ci3oLsJ-RZTg/s1600/12865_10205811732876254_2400849468051702244_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQFuev7zVOfKPlqb5kKb1fRtor-kYeJmflzG3kled5yKSqbHg-RrsJDg3vmbnHWDRtM6TbWHHba2HjaqyHsG1Oy1NPZAZQzjjBP-4jR8oGAHqqU0F19PPWp4i-kgiFdzr9Ci3oLsJ-RZTg/s320/12865_10205811732876254_2400849468051702244_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">ATS(R) Homecoming 2015 was a great example of a supportive dance environment<br />
Picture of Terri's veil workshop</td></tr>
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<i><br /></i>
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<b>Ask questions</b> (statements can generate resistance, questions invite conversation)<br />
<i>Why do you say that? How much do you know about the situation?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<b>Consider planting a seed rather than needing instant resolution</b><br />
<b> </b><i>I have been thinking a lot lately about how I interact with other dancers in our community and part of that is not staying in conversations that are (or could turn) negative. I would love to tell you about my thoughts sometime if you are interested.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<b>Appeal to the person's best self</b><br />
<b> </b><i>I'm surprised to hear you say that because I have always thought of you as a person who was very supportive/kind.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV5uf7aDSPZBoLutM0igINAri6Z8N8HBAAYaJ91EM5GKIT4RCfYFAURSPjFcnQepBpdcOO_g-oNa5FW-oNECulLttLZ5T5Uf9edgZ1TnwCIpsI1UIKRDn3dHwIDHLfmmgLr5atZkbwdW7c/s1600/23477_1346678303695_3497894_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV5uf7aDSPZBoLutM0igINAri6Z8N8HBAAYaJ91EM5GKIT4RCfYFAURSPjFcnQepBpdcOO_g-oNa5FW-oNECulLttLZ5T5Uf9edgZ1TnwCIpsI1UIKRDn3dHwIDHLfmmgLr5atZkbwdW7c/s320/23477_1346678303695_3497894_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My daughter sleeping on the floor with her dog who was too old to jump on the bed anymore.<br />
It was years ago but this was the sweetest picture I could find.<br />
We all have that kindness inside.</td></tr>
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<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<b>Talk about how it makes you feel </b>(telling them how to behave- what to do or not to do- can be disputed, but how you feel cannot)<br />
<i>It makes me uncomfortable to hear you say that/ to talk about this/ to read this.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<b>Approach the person with respect rather than self-righteous indignation</b><br />
<b> </b><i>I know how tempting it is to vent about _____ because I struggle with it also, but we made a commitment not to talk negatively about others and we have to help each other stick to that promise.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
In the past when my behavior has been challenged, I was much more open to the feedback when the person talked to me <i>like I was a good person who just had a lapse in judgement</i>. Think about the ways you would be most open to hearing this kind of feedback and try to follow the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.) <br />
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Good luck and don't hesitate to touch base with Terri or I if we can help you problem-solve about a specific situation.<br />
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xoxoxoxo.<br />
<br />
LisaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-5304559795726453302015-08-18T14:34:00.000-07:002015-08-18T15:49:23.442-07:00Keeping Passion Alive in your Relationship<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhNxWyK4m7cGT808ByJKYuz-QWEV6d-eU9lgnEUh1gjA9O8papUvrJmtbR02QaiHgWCZ92rW77_6G0wPhpvaToYLQ0uat1xrkHYZ5UmqqYtF2juiuwBg3M7T8P5-5SrTtNFO5_DxuIXI5U/s1600/lisahasan1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhNxWyK4m7cGT808ByJKYuz-QWEV6d-eU9lgnEUh1gjA9O8papUvrJmtbR02QaiHgWCZ92rW77_6G0wPhpvaToYLQ0uat1xrkHYZ5UmqqYtF2juiuwBg3M7T8P5-5SrTtNFO5_DxuIXI5U/s1600/lisahasan1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hasan and Lisa at a recent show that involved audience participation<br />
Photo credit: Josh Edwards</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">This post is for bellydancers who
are in intimate partner relationships. Like me, there may be some of you
out there who struggle with balancing the needs of your partners with the needs
of your troupe! Here are just a few of the things MY partner, Hasan, tolerates (I
am guessing some of this will sound familiar): work vacation days used up
for bellydance events, weekend get-aways starting on Saturday morning because
troupe rehearsal is on Friday night, listening to endless fangirl stories about
amazing dancers, and requests for back rubs after hours of dancing with ATS®
arms. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We spend a lot of time practicing our
dance, perfecting our technique, and bonding with our troupe mates.</span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Here are
some ideas for things you can do to focus on your partner.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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towards each other</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Turning towards each other” behaviors
will increase connection and trust with your partner. In every
relationship, people make “bids” for each other’s attention, affection or
support. This "turning towards each other" is the basis for
emotional connection, romance, passion and a good sex life. These bids
for attention can be small, like a smile, or bigger, like leaving a voice mail
when you know your partner is going to have a stressful day. Rather
than thinking of romance as a lavish gift, think of romance as flourishing in
the everyday, little things—all of these “turning towards” behaviors.</span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lavish gifts in the absence of these
small and constant expressions of love can feel insincere.</span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2-</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Solve your Solvable Problems</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There are some problems you may
never solve… differences in political beliefs, ex-partners who interfere, or if
your partner is a morning person and you are a night owl. So how do you
solve your solvable problems?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">First, if necessary, adjust the way
you are thinking about your partner. Trust that your partner has your
interests in mind by behaving as if you believe it, even during a
disagreement. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Second, when you bring up a problem,
use this format:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel _________ about <u>(what)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></u><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and I need ____________.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, I feel concerned about the
car registration and I need you to send in the renewal tomorrow. Framing
things like this describes your feelings and sets up your partner to respond in
a positive way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3-</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Self-Expansion Theory</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Self-expansion theory posits that
people have an innate inclination towards growth and towards expanding their
self-concept. One of main ways we do it is through our
relationships. In other words, satisfying relationships are those where
partners help each other grow as individuals. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Close relationships open up new
worlds to people. Small parts of yourself change and become more like
your close friends and partners. My partner works in advertising and I now talk about being "on brand" which is a concept I would have never
used before I met him two years ago. Relationships not only help shape
our identities; they also provide us with shared resources.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Opportunities for self-expansion are
highest early in new relationship and as self-expansion decreases so does
relationship satisfaction. Therefore, self-expansion theory also explains
how to increase relationship satisfaction- ask couples to participate in new
and exciting things together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8-JiWhrLJVSCKWioxUR_tp2j8-KXhcXxLmhfhSZTf-llJcMzDUpBOd7yEv-YI0Xi-d385inVr5inEJuv4zfrVeyFjJ1HlyBl4IbdDby_iX38Xjgza8a1nvOjBPVbfp_J00iZB8bhnB6td/s1600/tanddaniel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8-JiWhrLJVSCKWioxUR_tp2j8-KXhcXxLmhfhSZTf-llJcMzDUpBOd7yEv-YI0Xi-d385inVr5inEJuv4zfrVeyFjJ1HlyBl4IbdDby_iX38Xjgza8a1nvOjBPVbfp_J00iZB8bhnB6td/s1600/tanddaniel.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Terri and Daniel in Mexico</td></tr>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4-</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Prioritizing Sex </span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Touch is such an important part of
love and sex. The United States is a very “low touch” culture.
There are actually researchers who study how often couples touch each other in
different countries. A psychologist, Sidney Jourard, studied couples
around the world who were out to dinner and recorded how often they touched
each other in an hour. Couples in Paris touched each other 115
times- not a surprise! In Mexico City couples touched each other
185 times an hour. In London, the average number of times couples touched
each other was zero; and in Florida, 2 times an hour. In the USA,
touch is a much underutilized strategy for increasing love and passion in a
relationship!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If sex is important to you in your
relationship, create a deliberate intention to cultivate a rewarding sex
life. This starts with positive self-talk. Thinking or saying
you are too tired and stressed to have sex contributes to creating that
reality. Prioritizing your relationship including the sexual part might
seem like an impossible task with dance, busy jobs, children, pets, relatives,
bills, etc. However, once you start prioritizing time alone with
your partner you will find that you have more energy, are less stressed, and
have a greater overall life satisfaction than when you didn’t make time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I would love to hear what other dancers
do to “keep the passion alive.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For more
info on this topic: www.gottmanblog.com.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">xoxoxo, Lisa</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-36878640559380905582015-08-03T09:27:00.000-07:002015-08-05T07:15:40.340-07:00Dancing to the Beat of Your Own Drum<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzPDpYQYMphNHlwo3NPGxBp5gvldETsvR2yjgfdsKwZHgynTRjoE1p06mnTD0GaW0cz-rkJlUjpCS_upLRVhw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br />
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My niece, Elizabeth is a very special child. As you can see in the video, she dances to the beat of her own drummer. My sister who is her mother and her loving aunts (Lisa and I) encourage that behavior. We want an independent, sassy child who expresses herself without the societal pressures of fitting in. We want her to express her authentic voice and be celebrated for it.<br />
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One of the reasons that many of us have chosen to belly dance is because we want to dance to the beat of our own drum. Let's face it, this choice isn't a particularly sanctioned one in our society. Many people do not understand our love of costumes, desire to be on stage or need for this particular community, the one that we find only in our dance sisters and brothers.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu_3pPXDmH1l1GfmOA_IeGyySNuyeuQUHABdk50dQ1WY5G3k8r5XyVPx0TNfeHCZaPwKicPclWwJBfvwaKA1PiOqDBdXfOUncHaTpQ1r4L8GC_NZJmxeH3yUVo8eTelm-cjNfA1-ST29FW/s1600/solo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu_3pPXDmH1l1GfmOA_IeGyySNuyeuQUHABdk50dQ1WY5G3k8r5XyVPx0TNfeHCZaPwKicPclWwJBfvwaKA1PiOqDBdXfOUncHaTpQ1r4L8GC_NZJmxeH3yUVo8eTelm-cjNfA1-ST29FW/s320/solo.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My last performance as an Egyptian style belly dancer where solo improvisation is the norm.</td></tr>
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Yet, for American Tribal Style® dancers, we make a choice to be in community when we dance. Our art is one of group improvisation at it's core. When we dance in this style, we agree to put the needs of the group ahead of the needs of ourselves. We commit to supporting our sisters and brothers, following their lead and being there for them in class, in rehearsal and on the stage. We agree to dance to the beat of the group's drum!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dancers at a Third Eye Tribal class practicing as a group.</td></tr>
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In order to do this successfully, we need to be able to work cooperatively, putting our own needs aside at times for the needs of the group. Some concrete examples of this are:<br />
<ul>
<li>agreeing to different music or costuming than is your first choice</li>
<li>performing to the skill level and movement knowledge of the least experienced member of your group so that everyone shines</li>
<li>not intentionally leading moves that others in your group do not know or are not proficient in executing</li>
<li>allowing others to express their opinions when planning a set or making a decision</li>
<li>encouraging less vocal members of your dance group to share their opinions</li>
<li>being generous about allowing others to take the lead during performances</li>
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Although these suggestions seem like common courtesy or normal adult behavior, sometimes in the heat of the moment and stress of interpersonal relationships, we forget them or don't even realize that we are ignoring them, or in other words, dancing to the beat of our own drum. </div>
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I just wrote an article called "Against the Flock" for the most recent issue of The ATS® Magazine discussing difficult students. You can get it here: <a href="http://www.atsmagazine.com/#!subscription/cee5" target="_blank">The ATS® Magazine</a></div>
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Many of the problems related to "difficult students" center around dancers who need to dance to their own drum but have landed in a group improvisational dance style where that just isn't a possibility. The same problematic behaviors that instructors find in their classroom can be found in dance troupes.</div>
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How do you cultivate community in your dance classes and troupes? How do you encourage the members to dance to the beat of the group's drum? We would love to hear from you!</div>
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Happy Shimmies! <br />
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Terri</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-49439180344377177292015-05-28T14:18:00.001-07:002015-05-28T14:18:32.095-07:00Happiness, Life and Bellydance: Part IIWow. In one of our first blogs I talked about my post-event blues after ATS (R) Homecoming and things that I did to improve my mood based on happiness research. Since then we have written more than one blog on happiness. Not a big surprise- the purpose of the Third Eye Tribal blog is to promote positivity in our community. Now I want to share "Part II" of the blog I wrote in January.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi02kqVVzIS7IZlozrQTM9YEg1nezfBGKu95Rlc9aXQ8lDBeq0YzWFbgohQ31RP8YIvf6OyYYXJBqmmTac_Q4xtTHOdixd4qcajDE93r1Gr09uyK97dXBOZZJlP3edcrLiTpoXqC6p2G2Yb/s1600/hotel+room.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi02kqVVzIS7IZlozrQTM9YEg1nezfBGKu95Rlc9aXQ8lDBeq0YzWFbgohQ31RP8YIvf6OyYYXJBqmmTac_Q4xtTHOdixd4qcajDE93r1Gr09uyK97dXBOZZJlP3edcrLiTpoXqC6p2G2Yb/s1600/hotel+room.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dawn, Ming and Natalie when we scored a free hotel upgrade- very happy indeed!</td></tr>
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One of the main differences between happy people and unhappy people can be found in the ratio of their positive experiences to their negative ones. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s book, <a href="http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=VtU081/NHx4&offerid=229293.9780307393746&type=2&subid=0" style="background-color: transparent;" target="new">Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive</a>, identifies the ratio as 3 to 1. She discovered that for every one negative experience you have, you should actively seek out three positive experiences.<br />
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In addition to <i>identifying and sharing gratitude</i>, there are many other things we can do to have these positive experiences and increase the happiness in our lives. Here are some other strategies suggested by happiness research that I try to practice. <br />
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1- <b>Setting meaningful goals: </b> A sense of purpose highly correlates with happiness. I periodically spend time reflecting on what is important to me (for example, time with my daughter, being kind and generous) and then thinking about how my values compare with how I spend my time. A year ago I left a great job as the Associate Executive Director of the local domestic violence agency to be an "individual contributor" in a large company. I did this because I realized that my 60 hour a week job was not consistent with my most important value- time with my daughter. She is in her first year of high school and for the first time in her life my 40 hr/week job allows me to go in at 7:30 after I drop her at school and to pick her up from school every day at 3:30.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK8GyJjhOpxkR43KzRsqh6GT4izSUxhBWikpA5PaqO5gT_QgqjfiyYQTypgSjP6i0uqbr1OjS1RImQ7DK8cj_3MtkQ2ebCEIpBdcB8ri7uT_7gG-_xvl7J9QitJZmoU6qDgkK1OZ-BRSs4/s1600/tribalcon3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK8GyJjhOpxkR43KzRsqh6GT4izSUxhBWikpA5PaqO5gT_QgqjfiyYQTypgSjP6i0uqbr1OjS1RImQ7DK8cj_3MtkQ2ebCEIpBdcB8ri7uT_7gG-_xvl7J9QitJZmoU6qDgkK1OZ-BRSs4/s1600/tribalcon3.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me, Teresa, and Nicole in a dramatic hotel improv</td></tr>
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2- <b>Find humor in everyday life: </b> This is easy to do on the 3-4 days a week that I dance. The women I dance with are fun and funny. We even fill our 2 hour Friday night practices with laughter. One of my favorite silly things we do happens when we rehearse in duets. Whoever is dancing together gets a "ship" name. For those of you who don't have a teenager, a "ship" name (short for relation<em>ship</em>) is when you combine two names together to form one name, usually done when you think the two would make a good couple. So,when Patti and Natalie dance together we call them Pattilie. When Ming and I dance together we are Ling. You get the idea. Sometimes during my week I have to search out something funny. Last month I put up some poster paper at my workplace for us all to share jokes, funny movies and funny TV shows. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj__ixm1MBk408AGbN5ppERP8fQ0zSc5TM_IOvpdaaGjcZkaAI_Q5PvVEdgtAsul6_6vB5YZQWFKMgNB8oGc4SFPEqNhGCj8RVoJ5GcI5QlPHaWA7jjiLsJqV8HygAlOjH1lrHt3pO-5MAr/s1600/sharon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj__ixm1MBk408AGbN5ppERP8fQ0zSc5TM_IOvpdaaGjcZkaAI_Q5PvVEdgtAsul6_6vB5YZQWFKMgNB8oGc4SFPEqNhGCj8RVoJ5GcI5QlPHaWA7jjiLsJqV8HygAlOjH1lrHt3pO-5MAr/s1600/sharon.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ming, Teresa, Natalie and Sharon being silly at ATS(R) Homecoming 2015</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
3- <b>Take care of your body:</b> Eat well, sleep enough, exercise. We all know it but we have to actually do it.<br />
<br />
4- <b>Random acts of kindness:</b> It may seem cliché, but when I am in a bad mood, I will drive through a fast food place, order a drink, and pay for the car behind me. Acts of kindness don't need to be random or for strangers to increase your happiness. Recently, a friend was stressed because she had to spend time out of town with her difficult family. Three times a day while she was gone I sent her "gifs," those mini-videos you can find on-line. I got the idea from my daughter and she helped me find and load a bunch of them onto my phone so I would have a steady stream to send my friend. I felt good, my friend felt good and my daughter felt good!<br />
<br />
I am not advocating for "rose colored glasses" or denying the difficult realities of financial stress, health issues, caregiving responsibilities or other very real and challenging things many of us deal with every day. I am suggesting that despite all of these things, if you commit to searching out positive experiences and increasing your ratio of positive experiences to negative you will be a happier person. Good luck and let me know how it goes!<br />
<br />
xoxoxo,<br />
<br />
Lisa<br />
<br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-52462976871596533922015-04-30T05:51:00.000-07:002015-07-09T08:35:52.424-07:00Two Pre-requisites to Happiness<div style="background-color: white; color: #606060; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em; padding: 0px;">
Did you know that the same areas of your brain are stimulated when you feel pain and when you see others feel pain? Dr. Amit Sood of the Mayo Clinic has studied the brain in order to help folks learn about happiness, contentment and finding joy in their lives. This finding suggests that, "the brain sees others, particularly those it is compassionate toward, as self." (Blog, April 15, 2015)</div>
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Lisa touched on this principle earlier when she wrote about feeling down after ATS® Homecoming. She suggested that showing love and gratitude toward those with whom she had spent time that week had helped her to feel better.</div>
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<b>Helping others feel happy is scientifically proven to make you feel happy also!</b></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9f5vGhbGaS2lOtrzbCLY5VQD_fyfn5AC0oKZR2AB54rtwO-MPW46YzI1mFWUsgk0wC-qOvfvtvpBErlEJs3EEwnmPKJsJ6lbs_QD7nM8tk0k27iJZeKmyako3wBGxv62NjHizKhJ9ZP93/s1600/happy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9f5vGhbGaS2lOtrzbCLY5VQD_fyfn5AC0oKZR2AB54rtwO-MPW46YzI1mFWUsgk0wC-qOvfvtvpBErlEJs3EEwnmPKJsJ6lbs_QD7nM8tk0k27iJZeKmyako3wBGxv62NjHizKhJ9ZP93/s1600/happy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Natalie- now that is happy!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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Dr. Sood suggests that there are two <i>pre-requisites to happiness- feeling safe and worthy.</i></div>
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<b>Safety</b></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #606060; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em; padding: 0px;">
Safety includes physical and emotional well being. As a dance student, instructor, or troupe member, how do you ensure your own and other's emotional safety? ATS® requires an environment of safety and trust to be successful. If you or your dance companions are feeling emotionally unsafe, those negative emotions will show up in your technique and performance.</div>
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Here are some steps to ensure safety for yourself and others.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #606060; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em; padding: 0px;">
1. Be honest with yourself about what you want and how you are feeling. Practice good self-care so that you don't spread your bad mood, anger or irritation. There are, of course, places for those feelings, but not in class, rehearsal or performance. If your dance companions are always trying to guess your mood prior to interacting with you for fear of the "snappy" version of you, then you are not contributing to a safe environment within your community. </div>
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2. Share your feelings with others in an appropriate venue. Schedule periodic meetings to discuss interpersonal dynamics within your group. Set up a structure before or after your rehearsal time to discuss any potential problems. Remember, just because you feeling frustrated about your day, doesn't mean you have a right to take it out on everyone, even if you have told them that you are upset in advance!</div>
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3. Communicate directly and clearly about your concerns or feelings. Oblique communication or passive-aggressive behavior in lieu of direct communication can create an unsafe environment within a group. If someone else communicates directly, listen and thank them for the honest communication even if you don't like what they said.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7eC2Jvz2JupkdtyST0FStGsKwOqJ1sXGSPE2by7VXWFcmdDorVjWOQe4xnV0DArfbq7uo02hfYJom_7G9a7QLokKd35D5k-8yCI-eL5wg3KSRSkqR62HJL_aYD9jDN8V9IHs-zI6BO8l7/s1600/fri+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7eC2Jvz2JupkdtyST0FStGsKwOqJ1sXGSPE2by7VXWFcmdDorVjWOQe4xnV0DArfbq7uo02hfYJom_7G9a7QLokKd35D5k-8yCI-eL5wg3KSRSkqR62HJL_aYD9jDN8V9IHs-zI6BO8l7/s1600/fri+3.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Super Beth and Suz- Beth creates a safe and happy environment in her classes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Worth</b></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #606060; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em; padding: 0px;">
"To help others feel worthy, validate them, understand them from within their perspective, give complete attention, focus on what is right about them, and remind them of their goodness" shares Dr. Sood.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #606060; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em; padding: 0px;">
In the context of a dance group, helping others feel worthy means stepping outside of ourselves to be attuned to the feelings and perspectives of others. That ability to stay attuned to your own emotions and experience and balance reading other's emotional expressions is one of the primary skills necessary for emotional intelligence. However, I am suggesting to go beyond understanding another's emotional experience. In order to contribute to another person's self-worth, we can validate them, focus on the good and remind them of their contributions.</div>
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Here are some steps you can take to help others feel worthy.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #606060; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em; padding: 0px;">
1. The first step in acknowledging another's worth is to acknowledge your own. You are a valuable member of your dance group, with unique skills and special things to offer. When you approach others with abundance and confidence, it is easy to value their contributions.</div>
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2. Make it a practice of finding something to acknowledge or validate about each of your dance group members each time you gather. Don't have time to remind someone of their contributions during class, send them a text or note after class.</div>
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3. This suggestion is the hardest because I am going to ask you to shift the way you think about the person who drives you crazy! We each have at least one of them in our dance lives. Now that you are thinking of that person, find a way to acknowledge one good thing about them each time you interact with them. </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOp0u8_peayEa5ud9fxor1ROszAQX1U-qwmXfBWPlzrPZDyoKfdPwoPeUnL6XxtY4z4q1BssBYreilHva89zZ2ud2tJrhSsVA1u6mze_IWsEU4DUOTVNrKn3zuhsLIwFkC_ZEcK-rDuoPR/s1600/film4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOp0u8_peayEa5ud9fxor1ROszAQX1U-qwmXfBWPlzrPZDyoKfdPwoPeUnL6XxtY4z4q1BssBYreilHva89zZ2ud2tJrhSsVA1u6mze_IWsEU4DUOTVNrKn3zuhsLIwFkC_ZEcK-rDuoPR/s1600/film4.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Carolena supporting Super Beth, Dawn (Nandana) Ruckert and Terri during our DVD shoot.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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Many of us come to dance to find happiness. Sometimes we get lost along the way. I hope these pre-requisites for happiness will help you and your group build a firm foundation upon which to build a productive and happy dance experience!</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&prev=_t&sl=en&tl=es&u=http://thirdeyetribal.blogspot.com/2015/04/two-pre-requisites-to-happiness.html"><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Dos Pre-requisitos para la Felicidad</span></a><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">¿Sabías que
cuando sientes dolor o ves a otros en dolor, esto estimula la misma área del
cerebro? Dr. Amit Sood, de la Clínica Mayo ha estudiado el cerebro con el
fin de ayudar a la gente a aprender acerca de la felicidad y la búsqueda de la
alegría en sus vidas. Este hallazgo sugiere que, "el cerebro ve a los
demás, sobre todo hacia los que es compasivo, como” yo." (Blog de
15 de abril de 2015)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Este principio
Lisa lo trajo a relucir, cuando escribió acerca de sentirse en baja después “ATS®
Homecoming”. Lisa nos sugirió que mostrar amor y gratitud hacia aquellos
con los que había compartido durante esa semana, la había ayudado a sentirse
mejor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">¡Está
científicamente probado que Ayudar a los demás a que se sientan felices hace
que tú te sientas feliz también!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="" name="table01"></a><a href="" name="graphic06"></a><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Dr. Sood sugiere dos pre-requisitos para la
felicidad- sentirse seguro y digno.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><span lang="ES-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Seguridad<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Seguridad
incluye física y bienestar emocional. Como estudiante de la danza,
instructor, o miembro de la tribu, ¿cómo asegurar la seguridad emocional de los
demás y la tuya propia? ATS® requiere un ambiente de seguridad y confianza
para tener éxito. Si tu o tus compañeros de baile se sienten
emocionalmente inseguros, esas emociones negativas se reflejarán en su técnica
y rendimiento.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><span lang="ES-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Algunos pasos a seguir para garantizar tu seguridad
y la de otros.<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">1. Sea
honesto consigo mismo acerca de lo que quiere y cómo se siente. Practique
un buen auto-cuidado para que no contagie de mal humor,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ira o irritación a los demás. Por
supuesto hay, lugares para esos sentimientos, pero el lugar no es en clase,
ensayo o en presentaciones. Si sus compañeros de baile siempre están
tratando de adivinar su estado de ánimo antes de poder interactuar con usted
por temor a su reacción, entonces usted no está contribuyendo a un ambiente
seguro dentro de su comunidad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">2. Comparta
sus sentimientos con los demás en un lugar apropiado. Programar reuniones
periódicas para discutir la dinámica interpersonal dentro de su
grupo. Establecer una estructura antes o después de su tiempo de ensayo
para discutir cualquier problema potencial. ¡Recuerde, sólo porque te
sientes frustrado por su día, no significa que tiene derecho a desquitarse con
todos, aunque les haya dicho de antemano que usted está molesto!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">3.
Comunicarse directa y claramente sobre sus preocupaciones o
sentimientos. Comunicación con indirectas o comportamiento pasivo-agresivo
en lugar de una comunicación directa pueden crear un ambiente inseguro dentro
de un grupo. Si alguien se comunica directamente, hay que escuchar y darle
las gracias por la comunicación honesta, incluso si es algo que dijeron que no
te gusta.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="" name="table02"></a><a href="" name="graphic07"></a><u><span lang="ES-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Valor<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Dr. Sood comparte.
“Para ayudar a que otros se sientan dignos, hay que validarlos, entenderlos desde
dentro de su perspectiva, prestarles completa atención y enfocarse en lo que
está bien de ellos y recordarles sus bondad" <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">En el
contexto de un grupo de baile, para poder ayudar a los demás a que se sientan
dignos significa salir fuera de nosotros mismos para poder estar en sintonía
con los sentimientos y perspectivas de los demás. Esa capacidad de
permanecer en sintonía con tus propias emociones y el experimentar y balancear las
expresiones emocionales de otros es una de las primeras habilidades necesarias
para la inteligencia emocional. Sin embargo, estoy sugiriendo ir más allá
de la comprensión y la experiencia emocional de otro, esto con el fin de
contribuir a la autoestima de otra persona, validándolos, y centrarnos en lo
bueno y recordarles sus aportes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><span lang="ES-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Algunos pasos a seguir para garantizar se sientan
dignos.<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">1. El
primer paso para reconocer a otros es reconocer su propia dignidad. Usted
es un miembro valioso de su grupo de baile, con habilidades únicas y cosas
especiales que ofrecer. Cuando te acercas a los demás con la mentalidad de
abundancia y la confianza, es fácil de valorar las aportaciones de los demás<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">2. Hazlo una
práctica constante<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>el encontrar algo
para reconocer o validar acerca de cada uno de los miembros del grupo de
danza. ¿No tienes tiempo durante la clase para recordarle a alguien acerca
de sus contribuciones? Envíale un texto o una nota después de la clase.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">3. ¡Esta
sugerencia es la más difícil porque te voy a pedir que cambies tu forma de
pensar acerca de la persona que te vuelve loco! Cada uno de nosotros
tenemos al menos uno de ellos en nuestro círculo de baile. Ahora que está pensando
en esa persona, cada vez que interactúa con ellos encontré una manera de
reconocer una cosa buena acerca de esa persona.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Muchos de
nosotros llegamos al baile para encontrar felicidad. A veces nos perdemos
en el camino. ¡Espero que estos pre-requisitos para la felicidad le ayuden
a usted ya su grupo a construir una base sólida sobre la cual construir una
experiencia de baile productiva y feliz!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">22 de abril
2015<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&prev=_t&sl=en&tl=es&u=http://thirdeyetribal.blogspot.com/2015/04/practice_22.html"><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Práctica</span></a><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">En el
libro El Código del Talento por Daniel Coyle, nos habla de la falacia
de la "capacidad innata". La diferencia principal entre el
atleta estrella, bailarín profesional, maestro de música y el resto de nosotros
no es tanto una habilidad innata, es la cantidad de tiempo que pasamos en
la práctica. Recuerdo Ariella decir esto mismo en un taller que asistí
con ella hace años. Ella dijo que la diferencia en ustedes (los
participantes del taller) y yo es la cantidad de tiempo que paso bailando
durante la semana. Eso realmente resonó conmigo pero va en contra de una
cultura que glorifica el éxito rápido y la gratificación inmediata. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="" name="table04"></a><a href="" name="graphic09"></a><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;"><br />
El mejorar en su danza requiere el invertir mucho tiempo. Soy una bailarina
decente y no hago esto como una carrera. Tengo un trabajo a tiempo
completo y soy una madre soltera. Actualmente practico ATS® bellydance de
5-8 horas a la semana. Quiero practicar más.<br />
<br />
Estas son algunas de las estrategias que utilizo para añadir más baile en mi
vida.<br />
<br />
1. Tomar clases semanales, haga un plan<br />
Tomar clases en persona le da la oportunidad de aprender y recibir
retroalimentación. Si usted no tiene un instructor cerca de usted, tome
una clase en línea o Skype con su profesor favorito. Si eso no es una
posibilidad, entonces, tome clases pregrabadas o véalas en DVD.<br />
<br />
Pero estar presente en el salón no es suficiente. Trácese un
plan. Establezca metas y pida información específica a su
instructor. Tiene que asumir la responsabilidad de su propio
aprendizaje.<br />
<br />
2. Tome clases privadas<br />
Clases privadas me permiten identificar áreas específicas que necesito para
trabajar y luego aplicar lo que he aprendido. Clases privadas periódicas
pueden realmente mejorar su baile fuera de la asistencia regular al salón de
clases y ayudarle a determinar qué tipos de objetivos debe establecer.<br />
<br />
3. Entrene<br />
Fuerza general y la condición física mejoran su técnica de baile y la
resistencia. Encuentre otra actividad que le guste. Yo tomo clases
de yoga y “barre ballet”. Ambos son la perfecta actividad de
fortalecimiento, tonificación y el aumento de resistencia para los bailarines.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="" name="table05"></a><a href="" name="graphic0A"></a><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;"><br />
4. Únase a un Troupe<br />
Ensayos adicionales de los troupe son una gran manera de añadir una dinámica
diferente a su práctica de la danza. Además, le hace a usted responsable con
otras personas de practicar cosas que tiene que trabajar. En mi compañía de
baile tenemos un documento en el cual registramos y compartimos lo que estamos
trabajando individualmente y podemos dar y recibir retroalimentación.<br />
<br />
5. Coordine breves ensayos durante todo el día<br />
Una de las estrategias que utilizo para agregar más práctica de la danza en mi
vida es encontrar pequeños fragmentos de tiempo en actividades comunes durante
el día, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>como por ejemplo practicar
floreos y rotación del torso cada vez que voy al baño. Al entrar en el
cuarto de baño esa es la actividad que utilizo para mi recordatorio de que debo
practicar. Cinco minutos en el espejo del baño no es mucho, pero al orinar
cada 2-3 horas y estar despierto durante 16 horas al día, eso añade<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>30 minutos de la práctica <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>todos los días sin siquiera pensar en
ello.<br />
<br />
¿Qué te parece? ¿Cuánto <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>practicas? ¿Cómo
determinas tu horario de práctica basado en sus metas de baile? ¡Estoy
ansiosa por escuchar lo que funciona para cada uno!<br />
</span><br />
xoxoxoxo,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-51420967666926701792015-04-22T16:41:00.002-07:002015-04-28T10:58:01.494-07:00Practice In the book <u>The Talent Code</u> by Daniel Coyle, Coyle talks about the fallacy of "innate ability." The main difference between the star athlete, professional dancer, master musician and the rest of us is not as much an innate ability as it is the <i>amount of time we spend in hard practice</i>. I remember Ariella saying this same thing in a workshop I attended with her years ago. She said the difference in you (workshop participants) and me is the amount of time I spend a week dancing. That really resonated with me but it goes against a culture that glorifies quick success and immediate gratification.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsQIgoThjKzc8N7MDLkVGx8KF5A_aCVrBO13koyH1C6_7osQ-TJP65hyu0zv-lnYFJWQ5x3hPjHPdor9wH3fBZlKEKC1qZyGI4M4Aal25POQyognsua8L7daOYx7q25QKPE5mm1_u44Tlu/s1600/practiceblog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsQIgoThjKzc8N7MDLkVGx8KF5A_aCVrBO13koyH1C6_7osQ-TJP65hyu0zv-lnYFJWQ5x3hPjHPdor9wH3fBZlKEKC1qZyGI4M4Aal25POQyognsua8L7daOYx7q25QKPE5mm1_u44Tlu/s1600/practiceblog1.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">Up at 6 am during ATS® Homecoming to rehearse</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Improving your dance requires spending time- and a lot of it. I am a decent dancer who doesn't do this as a career. I have a full-time job and am a single mom. Right now I practice ATS® bellydance 5-8 hours a week. I want to practice more.<br />
<br />
Here are some of the strategies that I use to add more dance to my life.<br />
<br />
1. Take weekly classes, with a plan<br />
Taking in-person classes gives you the opportunity to learn and receive feedback. If you don't have an instructor near you, take an on line-class or Skype into a class with your favorite instructor. If that isn't a possibility, then take pre-recorded classes or watch DVDs. <br />
<br />
But being present in the room isn't enough. Make a plan. Set goals and ask for specific feedback from your instructor. Take responsibility for your own learning.<br />
<br />
2. Take private lessons<br />
Private lessons allow me to identify specific areas that I need to work on and then implement what I have learned. Periodic private lessons can really improve your dance outside of regular class attendance and help you determine what types of goals to set.<br />
<br />
3. Cross train<br />
Overall strength and physical fitness improve your dance technique and stamina. Find another activity that you love. I take yoga and ballet barre classes. They are both perfect strengthening, toning and stamina building activity for dancers.<br />
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4. Join a Troupe<br />
Extra troupe rehearsals are a great way to add a different dynamic to your dance practice. Plus, then you are accountable to other people to practice things you need to work on between troupe rehearsals. In my troupe we have a shared document where we all record what we are working on so we can give each other feedback.<br />
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5. Cue brief rehearsals through out the day<br />
One of the strategies that I use to add dance to my life is to find little snippets of time cued by common activities- like practicing floreos and torso rotation every time I go into the bathroom during the day. Going into the bathroom is the activity I use to cue me to remember to practice. Five minutes in the bathroom mirror isn't much, but when you pee every 2-3 hours and you are awake for 16 hours a day, that is 30 min of practice every day without even thinking about it.<br />
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So, how about it? How much do you practice? Do you determine your practice schedule based on your current dance goals? I can't wait to hear what is working for everyone else!<br />
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xoxoxoxo,<br />
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Lisa<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">В кгине «Код таланта» Даниэля Койла он говорит об обманчивости «врождённых способностей». Главное отличие классного спортсмена, профессионального танцовщика, виртуозного музыканта от всех остальных – не столько врождённые способности, сколько <i>количество времени, которое посвящено трудным тренировкам.</i>Я помню, как Ариэлла говорила то же самое на мастер-классе, который я посещала несколько лет назад. Она сказала, что разница между вами (участниками мк) и мной во времени, которое я трачу в неделю на танец. Это очень близко мне, но полностью противоречит культуре, прославляющей быстрый успех и немедленное вознаграждение.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Встали в 6 утра, чтобы порепетировать для </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">ATS</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">® </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;">Homecoming</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />Чтобы улучшить свой танец, надо затратить время – много времени. Я прилично танцую, но это не моя основная работа. У меня есть другая работа, я одна воспитываю детей. Сейчас</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">я</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">занимаюсь</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">по</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> 5-8 </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">часов</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">в</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">неделю</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">. </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">И</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">хочу</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">заниматься</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">больше</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Вот несколько способов, которые я использую, чтобы у меня в жизни было больше танца.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">1.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Два класса в неделю с чётким планом</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Занятия с личным присутствием помогают научиться и получить обратную связь. Если рядом с вами нет инструктора, займитесь по скайпу с вашим любимым преподавателем. Если и такой возможности нет, занимайтесь по записанным видео или обучающим ДВД.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Но быть на месте недостаточно. Разработайте план. Поставьте цели и попросите определённую обратную связь от вашего преподавателя. Берите на себя ответственность за своё обучение.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">2.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Берите частные уроки</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Частные уроки позволяют мне определить специфические проблемы, над которыми надо поработать, и потом применить полученные знания. Периодические частные уроки могут улучшить ваш танец и за пределами занятий по расписанию и определить, какие цели надо себе ставить.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">3.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Разнообразные тренировки</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Общая</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">физическая</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">форма</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">и</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">сила</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">улучшают</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">вашу</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">танцевальную</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">технику</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">и</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">выносливость</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">. </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Найдите другой вид активных занятий, который вам нравится. Я занимаюсь йогой и балетной техникой. Они обе идеальны для наращивания силы, тонуса и выносливости для танцора.<br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">4.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Присоединитесь к труппе</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Дополнительные репетиции в труппе – отличный способ добавить новой динамики в ваши танцевальные тренировки. Плюс, когда вы несёте ответственность перед другими людьми за отработку элементов, которые требуют внимания, вам приходится танцевать и между репетициями. В нашей труппе есть расшаренный документ, где мы все записываем, над чем работаем и т.д., так что можем друг другу давать обратную связь.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">5.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Придумывайте маленькие репетиции в течение дня</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Одна из стратегий, которые я использую для добавления танца в жизнь, - находить небольшие отрывки времени для танца в своей обычной ежедневной занятости, например, крутить флорео или делать круги грудью каждый раз, когда иду в туалет. Поход в туалет – тоже занятие, которое также является временем для танца. Пять минут в ванной у зеркала – немного, но зато ходите вы туда постоянно, раз в 2-3 часа, так что за 16 часов активного дня у вас образуется 30 минут тренировки, на которую не надо специально выделять время.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Ну</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">и</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">как</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">вам</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">? </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Сколько</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">времени</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">вы</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">тренируетесь</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">? </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Вы определяете своё расписание тренировок, исходя из своих танцевальных целей? Очень хочу узнать, какие способы работают для вас!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">xoxoxoxo,<br /><br />Lisa</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-46084154646269279942015-04-15T07:32:00.001-07:002015-05-08T05:32:35.595-07:00Third Eye Tribal Blog coming to you in Russian and Spanish!<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><i>"A warm smile is the universal language of kindness."</i></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />William Arthur Ward</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Lisa and I created the Third Eye Tribal blog as a means to offer a weekly "warm smile" to our readers. </span><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">There are so many amazing things to celebrate in life and in dance. Our intention is for you use our blog as a prompt to take a break in your week to reflect upon your dance experience, how it impacts your life in positive ways and how you can get the most out of it.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">In the last several years, we have had the amazing privilege of meeting people from around the world as a result of our participation in the ATS® dance community. Even though we don't see these new friends every day, we keep up with their lives and dance careers through social media and email. Not to sound like old fogies, but that wasn't a possibility 12 years ago when we began this journey into dance. It is really an incredible thing to be connected globally through dance.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Of course, American Tribal Style® is truly a universal language. We all learn the same movements, cues and formations so that we can have conversation in dance with our sisters and brothers from around the world. <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz_s-4JIOuP_uKtysTzuQeSyNZVzDWy4-Pu8Jp33tuatT1IuQCBVaggpr_zymgZj4GI5r104ri5s6Ccz1VqdxwHKzWyZZZ2FfQPyDCVx2UaHzNd21W4T3-8nO5eoZdQsvN08C1SaJQTjjs/s1600/diana+lee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz_s-4JIOuP_uKtysTzuQeSyNZVzDWy4-Pu8Jp33tuatT1IuQCBVaggpr_zymgZj4GI5r104ri5s6Ccz1VqdxwHKzWyZZZ2FfQPyDCVx2UaHzNd21W4T3-8nO5eoZdQsvN08C1SaJQTjjs/s1600/diana+lee.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Diana Lee Huertas Diaz</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">We have had such an overwhelmingly positive response since beginning this blog. The positive messages in the blog seem to be resonating in our dance community. We have had requests to offer the blog in other languages. Since Lisa and I only speak English, we are partnering with friends from around the world to bring our blog to you in your language (without Google translate!). Tina Berezhnaya will be translating our blog into Russian and Diana Lee Huertas Diaz will be translating it into Spanish.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tina Berezhnaya<br />
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If you are interested in seeing Third Eye Tribal blog come to you in your language, let us know. We would love to have more partners!<br />
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Happy Shimmies,</div>
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Terri and Lisa<br />
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<b><i>“Third Eye Tribal” Blog ahora en ruso y español</i></b></div>
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"Una cálida sonrisa es el lenguaje universal de bondad”</div>
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William Arthur Ward</div>
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Liza y yo creamos el blog de “Third Eye Tribal” como un medio para ofrecer semanalmente una cálida sonrisa para los que lo leyeran. Existen tantas cosas maravillosas por las cuales hay que celebrar la vida y el baile. Nuestra intención es que utilices nuestro blog como un incentive a que te tomes una pausa en la semana y reflexiones sobre tu experiencia de baile, como te impacta en la vida de formas positivas y como puedes sacarle el mejor provecho.</div>
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En los últimos anos, hemos tenido el gran privilegio de conocer personas de distintas partes del mundo, a raíz de nuestra participación dentro de la comunidad de ATS®. A pesar de que no vemos nuestras nuevas amistades todos los días, nos mantenemos en constante contacto y al día sobre sus vidas y sus carreras de baile a través de los medios sociales y correos electrónicos. No queremos sonar como Viejas anticuadas pero esto no era posible hace 12 años atrás cuando comenzamos nuestra travesía en el baile. Realmente esto es algo increíble, el poder estar conectados mundialmente a través del baile.</div>
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Claro, el Estilo Tribal Americano (ATS®) es realmente un lenguaje universal. Todas aprendemos el mismo vocabulario de movimientos, señales y formaciones, así que podemos tener conversaciones con nuestras hermanas/nos alrededor del mundo a través del baile.</div>
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Desde el comienzo del blog la respuesta ha sido tan abrumadoramente positiva. Los mensajes positivos parecen estar resonando con la comunidad de baile. Hemos tenido peticiones sobre la posibilidad de ofrecer el blog en otros idiomas. Como Liza y yo solo hablamos inglés, hemos decidido asociarnos con nuestras amigas alrededor del mundo para traer nuestro blog en otros idiomas. (Sin utilizar el traductor de Google) Tina Berezhanaya estará traduciendo el blog a ruso y Diana Lee Huertas Díaz lo estará traduciendo al español </div>
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Si estas interesada en que “Third Eye Tribal” este en tu idioma déjanos saber, ¡nos encantaría tener más asociadas! </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-24598417327381788242015-04-06T07:19:00.000-07:002015-05-08T05:29:39.970-07:00Emotional Intelligence: The Hidden Secret to SuccessToday we will discuss an obstacle to success that dancers sometimes face that has nothing to do with their dance skills or business acumen.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-o65ypd4X1C7ahz2nUs9qtEYFIQHTGCAMYaqvPFj9zJf7tJgwIqLNvgR0aob4conJLc1NfpQpcFCbe8Jb28WKiS14KCm3dajAU725FMHq2MvmKGBUwc2bnb86O6m3UlxPt2WVlWOGAZ_b/s1600/IMG_0060.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-o65ypd4X1C7ahz2nUs9qtEYFIQHTGCAMYaqvPFj9zJf7tJgwIqLNvgR0aob4conJLc1NfpQpcFCbe8Jb28WKiS14KCm3dajAU725FMHq2MvmKGBUwc2bnb86O6m3UlxPt2WVlWOGAZ_b/s1600/IMG_0060.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My niece, Elizabeth.</td></tr>
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Bluntly put.... <b>do you play well with others?</b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Emma, Elizabeth and Jack making a cake, Dylan hooping</td></tr>
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"Well of course I do," you say. I attended Kindergarden. My mother loves me. I have lots of friends who think that I am wonderful. <br />
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That is all true. None of us are perfect, but if you are not achieving the results that you seek and really want to do something about it, then it is time to explore your emotional intelligence. Are you ready?<br />
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Playing well with others as an adult demands a certain level of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is "the ability to monitor one's own and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior." (Wikipedia)<br />
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Emotional intelligence is a positive predictor of professional success, higher earnings and higher performance in studies across professions, countries and cultures. <i>The ability to accurately perceive your own and other's emotions and to use that perception to guide your behavior is an essential factor for success.</i><br />
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In American Tribal Style® dance, emotional intelligence is absolutely essential to success in class, on the dance floor and professionally if you chose to utilize your dance skills in the open market. This dance form is built upon communication and the ability to accurately read people's nonverbal cues, many of which share emotion as well as intent. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMHdmvEhdiDhyoVPI8ZjB4Vhmwg7E4ka9LZcOQThSRN-R_9E-0z4EVqkKmFVjrP_OEjnO55AfFX38s-cviXtMEXI4J3PH4JLCpasaElfYrYdFpA7lAwOCNMtG9sLURfVoHF3ev4-JBr-U9/s1600/IMG_4867.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMHdmvEhdiDhyoVPI8ZjB4Vhmwg7E4ka9LZcOQThSRN-R_9E-0z4EVqkKmFVjrP_OEjnO55AfFX38s-cviXtMEXI4J3PH4JLCpasaElfYrYdFpA7lAwOCNMtG9sLURfVoHF3ev4-JBr-U9/s1600/IMG_4867.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Suz, Rahni, Patricia, Sam and Terri (L to R)</td></tr>
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Here are 3 steps that you can take right now to determine your level of emotional intelligence and how it is positively or negatively impacting your life.<br />
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1. You can begin your assessment by taking an on-line survey to learn more about your strengths and weaknesses with regard to emotional intelligence. <br />
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There are several to choose from-<br />
<a href="http://psychology.about.com/library/quiz/bl_eq_quiz.htm">http://psychology.about.com/library/quiz/bl_eq_quiz.htm</a><br />
<a href="http://www.saluminternational.com/pdf/emotint.pdf">http://www.saluminternational.com/pdf/emotint.pdf</a><br />
<a href="http://www.linac.co.uk/images/pdfs/personaldownloads/ei_selfassessment.pdf">http://www.linac.co.uk/images/pdfs/personaldownloads/ei_selfassessment.pdf</a><br />
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2. You can ask a trusted dance sister or brother how they experience you in the context of accurately reading and responding accurately to interpersonal dynamics.<br />
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3. This is the most important. You must be willing to actually listen to the feedback that you receive and the information you have gathered.<br />
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Once you have identified areas in need of improvement, you can begin to work on adding tools to help you increase your emotional intelligence. More on that to come.<br />
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Happy Shimmies,<br />
Terri<br />
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<b><i>Inteligencia Emocional: El secreto oculto del éxito</i></b></div>
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Hoy vamos a hablar acerca de un obstáculo para el éxito que los bailarines enfrentan, que nada tiene que ver con su habilidad para el baile o su visión para los negocios.</div>
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Sin rodeos y directo; ¿Juegas bien con otros?</div>
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“Pues claro” me contestas tú. Asistí a la escuela maternal, mi madre me ama y tengo muchas amistades que creen que soy maravillosa.</div>
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Si esto es cierto, nadie es perfecto, pero si no estás alcanzando los resultados que deseas y quieres hacer algo al respecto, es hora de que explores tu inteligencia emocional. ¿Estas lista?</div>
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Jugar bien con otros, como adulto requiere cierto nivel de inteligencia emocional. Inteligencia emocional es:</div>
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“La <b>inteligencia emocional</b> agrupa al conjunto de habilidades psicológicas que permiten apreciar y expresar de manera equilibrada nuestras propias <span style="color: black;">emociones, </span>entender las de los demás, y utilizar esta información para guiar nuestra forma de pensar y nuestro comportamiento.” (wikipidia)</div>
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Inteligencia emocional es un predictor positivo acerca del éxito profesional, mayores ingresos y mejor desempeño en los estudios a través de profesiones, culturas y países.</div>
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La habilidad de percibir correcta y adecuadamente nuestras emociones y la de los demás y utilizarlas para guiar nuestro comportamiento es un factor esencial para el éxito</div>
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En el Estilo Tribal Americano (American Tribal Style® Belly Dance), la inteligencia emocional es absolutamente esencial para el éxito en las clases, en el baile y hasta para bailar profesionalmente si es que decide utilizar sus habilidades de baile a ese nivel. Este estilo de baile está basado en la comunicación y la habilidad de acertadamente leer las señas no verbales, muchas de las cuales comparten tanto emoción como intención.</div>
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Aquí hay 3 pasos que puedes seguir ahora mismo para determinar tu nivel de inteligencia emocional y cómo impacta tu vida, positiva o negativamente.</div>
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<li style="color: #313131; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.5px; margin: 0px 0px 8px;">1)<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Puedes comenzar tu autoevaluación, contestando estas encuestas en línea, para aprender acerca de tus fortalezas y debilidades en relación a tu inteligencia emocional</li>
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Escoge entre:</div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://psychology.about.com/library/quiz/bl_eq_quiz.htm">http://psychology.about.com/library/quiz/bl_eq_quiz.htm</a></span><span style="color: #2d2d2d;"><br />
<a href="http://www.saluminternational.com/pdf/emotint.pdf"><span style="color: #9a9a9a;">http://www.saluminternational.com/pdf/emotint.pdf</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.linac.co.uk/images/pdfs/personaldownloads/ei_selfassessment.pdf"><span style="color: #9a9a9a;">http://www.linac.co.uk/images/pdfs/personaldownloads/ei_selfassessment.pdf</span></a></span></div>
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<li style="color: #2d2d2d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 8px;">2)<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Puedes preguntarle a una hermana/o en la danza en quien confíes, que te diga cómo te experimenta en el contexto de la lectura y respuesta con precisión a las dinámicas interpersonales.</li>
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<li style="color: #2d2d2d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 8px;">3)<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Este es el más importante. Debes estar dispuesta a oír y recibir la retroalimentación que se te dé.</li>
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Una vez identifiques las áreas que necesitas mejorar puedes comenzar a trabajar en ellas añadiendo herramientas para aumentar tu inteligencia emocional. Más sobre este tema pronto.</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-4231984537351438152015-03-10T10:11:00.001-07:002015-04-28T10:24:19.763-07:00Finding joy in chaosSeveral months ago, I had the opportunity to plan and coordinate an international conference (ATS® Homecoming: Return to the Mothership). Although I had been in charge of many large events and fundraisers in my professional career up to that point, I had never tried to coordinate a 9 day event with participants from 13 countries. As with any event, I faced many challenges before and during the event. I was quite nervous, like not-sleeping-waking-up-anxious nervous before I left for San Francisco. Did I mention that I was in MN planning an event that would be held in CA?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Relaxing view at ATS Homecoming that I enjoyed daily to center and calm myself</td></tr>
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Several weeks before ATS® Homecoming, I had a conversation with Lisa (my sister AND hospitality and volunteer coordinator for the event). We decided that no matter what happened, we were going to <i>approach the event and participants with love and joy in our hearts</i>. Every time we faced a challenge, we used a process called "reframing" to shift the way we thought about the challenge.<br />
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For example, we were having a difficult time finding folks to help with stage managing, for obvious reasons. Those volunteers would miss the show! I was concerned that I wouldn't have time to manage behind the scenes and be present in all of the other places I needed to be. Lisa volunteered to step in if we needed someone. Rather than focusing on missing the show, she said, "This will be an amazing opportunity to get to know dancers who I might not have a chance to interact with during the day." Instead of focusing on her disappointment about not seeing the show, she was able to r<i>e-frame the experience</i> as an opportunity for connection.<br />
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I knew that amidst the chaos, it would be easy for me to spend my day rushing around rather than enjoying the experience at hand. So, I made a commitment to myself to be <i>fully present </i>to the people and interactions no matter how busy I was. I also asked the hospitality volunteers to do the same thing.<br />
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Much to my surprise and delight, it worked! Although exhausted, my strategy helped me to connect deeply with dancers and experience the joy of the shared experiences we were having.<br />
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At one point, a lovely new friend, Veronica Moreira from Argentina stopped me and said, "You are so full of joy. I really want to learn how to have fun when I am producing events. I always feel so stressed." She had noticed that I was making an effort to <i>find joy in the chaos</i>.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW4WbulJGrzIYgrNKr7BNMBjvOg4qmpx_kE72sQhke-t2uHNFQNNA24f2jx62gUpkcf0dEmcdNMD6IwYIQt8mT36Fz5drm3CWhZLeIX83MA84-8H8lMSUpn9FomIPj0mthhHkka8SbL5o-/s1600/veronica.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW4WbulJGrzIYgrNKr7BNMBjvOg4qmpx_kE72sQhke-t2uHNFQNNA24f2jx62gUpkcf0dEmcdNMD6IwYIQt8mT36Fz5drm3CWhZLeIX83MA84-8H8lMSUpn9FomIPj0mthhHkka8SbL5o-/s1600/veronica.jpg" height="184" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 2px;">Left to right: Veronica Moreira, Terri, Lisa and Elessa Calabria celebrating their completion of Teacher Training</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
You can find joy in your own daily chaos by following these simple steps:<br />
<br />
- approach your stressful or chaotic situation with love and joy in your heart.. anticipate those feelings<br />
<br />
- re-frame the challenges and stressors as opportunities to grow and connect<br />
<br />
- be fully present in the moment so that you can celebrate the experience and people<br />
<br />
- find joy in the chaos.<br />
<br />
Happy Shimmies!<br />
<br />
Terri<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Encontrando felicidad en el caos<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4917800090783741742" name="423198453735143815"></a><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Varios meses atrás, tuve la oportunidad de
coordinar la planificación de la conferencia internacional “ATS® Homecoming:
Return to the Mothership”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A pesar de
que anteriormente en mi carrera profesional he estado a cargo de grandes
eventos y actividades para recaudar fondos, nunca había tenido que coordinar un
evento de 9 días con la participación de 13 diferentes países.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Como con cualquier evento, enfrente muchos desafíos
antes y durante el evento.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Antes de
salir para San Francisco estaba nerviosa, no dormía o me levantaba
ansiosa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>¿Les mencione que me encontraba
en MN planificando el evento que se llevaría a cabo en California?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Algunas
semanas antes del “ATS® Homecoming”, tuve una conversación con Lisa (mi Hermana
y coordinadora voluntaria del el evento).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Decidimos que no importara lo que sucediera o cuan caótica podía ser una
situación, íbamos a dirigirnos hacia los participantes del evento con amor y alegría
en nuestros corazones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cada vez que nos enfrentábamos
con un desafío, utilizamos el proceso llamado reformular, lo cual cambiaba la
forma en la cual vemos el desafío.<br />
<br />
Por ejemplo, estábamos teniendo dificultad para encontrar ayuda con el manejo
del escenario, por razones obvias. ¡Los voluntarios se perderían el espectáculo!
Tenía la preocupación de que tendría tiempo suficiente para manejar tras
bastidores y estar presente en todos los demás lugares donde tenía que estar.
De necesitar a alguien Lisa se ofreció a hacerlo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>En vez de enfocarse en que se perdería el espectáculo
me dijo “Esto va a ser una gran oportunidad para conocer bailarinas con las
cuales quizás no tenga la oportunidad de conocer durante el día.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>En lugar de enfocarse en su decepción por no
poder ver el espectáculo, fue capaz de tomar la situación y utilizar el
reformular para verlo como una oportunidad positiva.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Sabía que por
el caos, sería fácil para mí el pasar el todo el día corriendo en lugar de
disfrutarme la experiencia del momento.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Así que hice un compromiso conmigo misma de estar completamente presente
con las personas e interaccionar con ellas, sin importar cuan ocupada pudiera
estar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Le pedí a las voluntarias de
hospitalidad que hicieran lo mismo.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;"><br />
¡Para mi satisfacción y sorpresa, funciono! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aunque exhausta, mi estrategia me ayudo a
conectarme profundamente con las bailarinas y la experiencia de alegría que
todas compartíamos en común.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">En un momento
dado una adorada nueva amiga, Verónica Moreira de Argentina, se detuvo y me
dijo “Estas tan llena de alegría, quisiera aprender como disfrutar cuando estoy
produciendo eventos, siempre me siento tan llena de estrés.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Verónica pudo notar como yo estaba haciendo
un esfuerzo para encontrar la alegría en medio del caos<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Puedes también
encontrar alegría en medio del caos con la práctica de los siguientes pasos.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Enfrenta
una situación caótica con alegría y amor n tu Corazón<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Replantea
los retos como oportunidades para crecimiento<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Estar
completamente<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>en el momento presente
para que puedas disfrutar la experiencia<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Encuentra
la alegría en el caos<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;"><br />
</span>Felices Shimmies!<br />
<br />
Terri<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-14323115484742410572015-03-04T05:56:00.000-08:002015-04-28T10:23:38.966-07:00Sharing Gratitude and Love <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzO0e5DOVZ1DOyQb8GfeRYL4RWNWXmsKJiZf8gOVPfzRNiQ8OZFW_lCFHi62HPN-liCTYNhuLKYUrWr6xnLEZ1JQ54UH36Xj823AQgPCzrKfsmQMDGkVZ8M2tin2A9n_V6Tx2HCdTxk2tv/s1600/11012754_10205199763090334_7178769565268938904_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzO0e5DOVZ1DOyQb8GfeRYL4RWNWXmsKJiZf8gOVPfzRNiQ8OZFW_lCFHi62HPN-liCTYNhuLKYUrWr6xnLEZ1JQ54UH36Xj823AQgPCzrKfsmQMDGkVZ8M2tin2A9n_V6Tx2HCdTxk2tv/s1600/11012754_10205199763090334_7178769565268938904_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My daughter, Kristin, and I during some pre-show silliness</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
In my last blog I talked about my post- ATS® Homecoming blues. I want to share some other things I did to help me pull out of my slump. As I said in the previous blog, these are all based on Positive Psychology research on happiness.<br />
<br />
Happy people communicate gratitude to their friends and love to family in ways that strengthen those bonds. If you want to be happier, the most important thing you can do (with immediate impact and minimal effort) is to<br />
<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">express positive emotions to others.</span></h2>
<br />
So one night I opened my computer, logged onto Facebook and started messaging. I found everyone I could find who had been at Homecoming who I could remember interacting with and I sent them a message. Sometimes I said a lot, sometimes I just said that I was happy to meet them and hoped that our paths would cross again soon. My messages, although brief, were sincere. Writing them made me happy. I believe receiving them made other people happy (based on the responses I got). Their responses made me happy again!<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1_klOhupyIQcuxGHq98xuPhypG1EVxqc-i4SW4mT5VfEt7Ik_9gdkOjUcI_y4uaGGG9RKzLCW4NxH0mDYYtoDa7lU0hmWOwFxXIKjw2M942M5bWS1bE-lPrHXwlw9KWN0jpJjcCGuyTgZ/s1600/10382436_795661517158142_4576634547657042888_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1_klOhupyIQcuxGHq98xuPhypG1EVxqc-i4SW4mT5VfEt7Ik_9gdkOjUcI_y4uaGGG9RKzLCW4NxH0mDYYtoDa7lU0hmWOwFxXIKjw2M942M5bWS1bE-lPrHXwlw9KWN0jpJjcCGuyTgZ/s1600/10382436_795661517158142_4576634547657042888_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Diana, Maria and me</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
For more on this strategy watch this video called The Science of Happiness: The Gratitude Project. Get your tissues out and be ready for the tears. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/oHv6vTKD6lg/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/oHv6vTKD6lg?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Another strategy I tried that is based on happiness research but seems obvious was:<br />
<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> find humor in everyday life.</span></h2>
I love <u>The Daily Show</u> and John Stewart so I started watching clips throughout the day when I would take stretch breaks at work. When something stressful happened I would try to think of how it would later be a funny story. For example, after I fell 4 times in the snow, the doctor who looked at my sprained wrist kept saying over and over again "Lisa, you fell down 4 times in the last 12 hours." I mean, he must have said it 6 times. I started to get irritated then I realized what a funny story it was going to make. My boyfriend is a VERY funny guy so I try to challenge myself to come up with tales that will make him laugh as much as he makes me laugh. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDvZOZnlW8_OSCri5ic4ITxB8hvzCicUflewFtuO4I8esxyrnBwdt-mWyZNokW07oZvUBzzieIXJJ5-HMtqqTtYranCNaPpq3XKrUCNUmoTEoMlkSkTDHdOh6HI28KEOa2RTl5u61BuA_H/s1600/11006447_812182192169209_4300767050780510465_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDvZOZnlW8_OSCri5ic4ITxB8hvzCicUflewFtuO4I8esxyrnBwdt-mWyZNokW07oZvUBzzieIXJJ5-HMtqqTtYranCNaPpq3XKrUCNUmoTEoMlkSkTDHdOh6HI28KEOa2RTl5u61BuA_H/s1600/11006447_812182192169209_4300767050780510465_n.jpg" height="178" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My boyfriend, Hasan, pulled up to dance</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Some other things I did and continue doing that help me be happy are:<br />
<br />
-practice random acts of kindness (clichéd but it really works)<br />
<br />
-look for awe inspiring experiences (waterfalls, sunsets, snowfall- I tend to experience "awe" in nature)<br />
<br />
-smile<br />
<br />
-eat better, get good sleep<br />
<br />
-and exercise (I attended dance and yoga classes, threw myself into troupe rehearsals, ramped up my daily practice, etc.)<br />
<br />
I hope these suggestions give you some good ideas about practicing happiness. I'd love to hear what works for you!<br />
<br />
xoxoxoxo,<br />
<br />
Lisa<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Compartiendo Amor y Gratitud<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">En mi
último blog hablaba de mi semi depresión luego de regresar del “ATS®
Homecoming”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quiero compartir otras
cosas que hice que me ayudaron a salir de ese bajo estado de ánimo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Como les mencionara anteriormente todo esto
está basado en investigaciones en Psicología positiva acerca de la felicidad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Las
personas felices comunican gratitud y amor a familiares y amigos en formas que
ayudan a fortalecer estos lazos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Si
quieres ser más feliz lo más importante que puede hacer es expresar emociones
positivas hacia otros.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Esto tendrá un
efecto inmediato con el mínimo esfuerzo. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Así que una
noche decidí ir a mi computadora, ingresar a Facebook y comenzar a enviar mensajes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Busque a la mayoría de las personas que
estuvieron en “Homecoming” y con las cuales me acordaba haber tenido algún tipo
de interacción y les envié mensajes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
veces era un mensaje extenso otras solo que estaba feliz de haberlas conocido y
que esperaba nuestro caminos se encontraran nuevamente en en futuro cercano. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A pesar de la brevedad de mis mensajes, estos
eran sinceros.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>El escribirlos me hacía
sentir feliz.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A base de las respuestas
que obtuve a todos les alegro el haberlos recibido y eso me hacía feliz
nuevamente. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Para más información
acerca de esta estrategia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Les
recomiendo vean el video La ciencia de la felicidad, (The Science of
Happiness)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>y el Proyecto Gratitud (The
Gratitud Project)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tengan sus pañuelos a
la mano y prepárense para llorar.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Otra de las
estrategias que trate que también están basadas en la felicidad, aunque suena
un poco obvia fue, encuentra humor en la vida cotidiana. (Find humor in
everyday life)<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Me encanta “The
Daily Show and John Stewart” así que comencé a ver los videoclips durante
el día cuando lograba tomarme una pausa en el trabajo. Cuando algo estresante sucedía
trataba de visualizar como esto más adelante podía ser una anécdota cómica.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Un ejemplo de esto fue luego de haberme caído
4 veces en la nieve, el medico quien examinaba mi muñeca lastimada, se pasaba
repitiendo una y otra vez, “Liza te has caído 4 veces en las últimas 12
horas”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>En serio, creo que si lo dijo
como 6 veces fue poco.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Comencé a
sentirme irritada por el comentario, entonces me di cuenta que esto tenía un
potencial de ser una historia muy graciosa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Mi novio es una persona muy graciosa así que trate de ponerme como meta
como podía convertir esta experiencia en una graciosa y hacerlo reír tanto como
el me hace reír a mí. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Otras cosas
que hice que me ayudaron a recobrar la felicidad y que continuo practicando son<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">- practicar
actos de bondad al azar<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">- <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>fijarme en experiencias cotidianas como por
ejemplo (atardeceres, cascadas, ver la nieve caer) este tiempo de experiencia
me llena.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">- sonreír<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">- comer
saludable, obtener una Buena noche de Descanso.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">-
ejercitarme. (Asisto a clases de yoga, baile, ensayos y aumento mi dosis diaria
de ejercicios) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Espero
estas sugerencias les den una idea de cómo practicar felicidad,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Me encantaría escuchar que es lo que funciona
para ustedes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xoxo<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-8700467385908960952015-02-14T13:32:00.003-08:002015-04-17T04:40:18.969-07:00Relaxing into a focused mindI am a worrier. Most of my life I have been plagued by ruminations of what might have been and anxiety about what may become. As a young child, I learned that I felt better when I was dancing. <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2TOfnR13NX5lFz1q0SuQt0H1zGfaRslPfNvfoeMVSp-gIu9nyweICMFQ2PaboWCUR22EyrIRSDJpc7rNJqnWnigvO-_UzC6Uk_E_-35UhNJmG1__6bAzoUxV9bOugV6U9CnvtNkMTJL_K/s1600/scan0318.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2TOfnR13NX5lFz1q0SuQt0H1zGfaRslPfNvfoeMVSp-gIu9nyweICMFQ2PaboWCUR22EyrIRSDJpc7rNJqnWnigvO-_UzC6Uk_E_-35UhNJmG1__6bAzoUxV9bOugV6U9CnvtNkMTJL_K/s1600/scan0318.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Terri and Lisa at 5 years old in their first dance performance.</td></tr>
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I didn't realize as a child that one of the reasons I felt better was because my mind was focused. The act of dancing, interpreting the music with my body, demanded total focus. <br />
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Dr. Amit Sood, of Mayo Clinic, has researched and written extensively on the subject of stress. He has found that the mind has two primary modes, the default mode and the focused mode. <br />
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Most of us spend the majority of our day in the default mode. In the default mode, our thoughts most often focus on threats and flaws. This type of thought pattern historically helped people stay safe in a world full of threats. However, for most of us in today's world, we don't have to worry about identifying potential threats on a constant basis. Instead, this cave-woman, safety-seeking impulse translates into a modern day tendency to focus on faults, or the negative. <br />
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The good news is that we can train our minds to be in the focused mode. When the mind is totally focused, it is usually externally focused, not concerned about the inner dialogue of distress and worry. When in this state, we find ourselves happy, joyful and celebrating life.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi60OCnrQD7BPPfhnFThsKvzvX8hP7rjd7rByqOxTzh8GmyQdb9ibKB_AD2LRfpd5kSHTiYue4JmIXlEZaB6bs_E3U-FVJIdHfOlJEVByxqP5U9QtQL4gtGthEGFGoTE4inKno4EJRb2apN/s1600/sunset.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi60OCnrQD7BPPfhnFThsKvzvX8hP7rjd7rByqOxTzh8GmyQdb9ibKB_AD2LRfpd5kSHTiYue4JmIXlEZaB6bs_E3U-FVJIdHfOlJEVByxqP5U9QtQL4gtGthEGFGoTE4inKno4EJRb2apN/s1600/sunset.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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One of the ways that you are already practicing the focused mind is by participating in dance. American Tribal Style® dance demands that the dancer be present in the moment. The very style is built upon interaction with other dancers, responsiveness to the music and nonverbal communication with the audience. A dancer whose mind has wandered to her or his grocery list, will run the very real risk of missing a cue.<br />
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When we dance, we are focused in the moment. We are better able to connect positively with those around us and celebrate the joy of life. <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOT5F_EL7DEA4yCZbLNBtFkvBxr_VQRqOLJUxSjoEbpxhOA22ZjxlTH9yfje4VDTBmPzGZyAEpubcfKbqDsOh0E7Glztz0vS13qHPBwZfLCR6HKt7cxsVAXzsdjGSEVH25cnNcZ47Mm9q2/s1600/darshana+copy+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOT5F_EL7DEA4yCZbLNBtFkvBxr_VQRqOLJUxSjoEbpxhOA22ZjxlTH9yfje4VDTBmPzGZyAEpubcfKbqDsOh0E7Glztz0vS13qHPBwZfLCR6HKt7cxsVAXzsdjGSEVH25cnNcZ47Mm9q2/s1600/darshana+copy+2.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Darshana Tribal after performing at ATS® Homecoming 2015</td></tr>
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Stay tuned for further articles on how to cultivate a focused mind and find joy in your life and dance.<br />
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Happy Shimmies,<br />
Terri<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Relajándonos hacia una mente enfocada<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Siempre me
preocupo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>La gran parte de mi vida he
estado preocupada por la contemplación de lo que pudo haber sido y la ansiedad
de lo que puede ser.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cuando niña aprendí
que me sentía mejor cuando bailaba. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">De lo que
no me había percatado era que una de las razones por la cual me sentía mejor
era porque mi mente estaba enfocada.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>El
hecho del baile interpretar la música para traducirla a movimientos en mi
cuerpo demandaba de mi total enfoque.<br />
<br />
“Dr. Amit Sood, of Mayo Clinic”, ha investigado y escrito extensivamente en el
tema del estrés.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ha encontrado que la
mente contiene dos modos primarios,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>el predeterminado
y el enfocado.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">La mayoría
de nosotros pasamos la mayor parte del tiempo en el modo predeterminado.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>En este estado, nuestros pensamientos se
enfocan mayormente en defectos y amenazas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Este patrón de pensamiento históricamente ha ayudado a las personas a
mantenerse seguros en un mundo lleno de amenazas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sin embargo, para la gran mayoría de
nosotros, en la actualidad, no tenemos que estar preocupándonos constantemente de
identificar amenazas potenciales.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>En su
lugar este modo primitivo, e impulsivo de buscar seguridad, se traduce a una
tendencia moderna de enfócanos en las faltas y/o lo negativo. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">La buena
noticia es que podemos entrenar nuestra mente a que funcione en el modo
enfocado.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cuando la mente está enfocada
por completo, usualmente es externamente, y no presta atención al dialogo
interno de angustia y preocupación.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>En este
estado encontramos nuestra felicidad, alegría y celebramos la vida. </span><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Una forma
en la que ya practicas el mantener la mente enfocada es al bailar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>El estilo de Danza Tribal Americano (ATS®) requiere
que la bailarina este en el momento presente.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>El estilo está basado en la interacción con otras bailarinas, la
conexión a la música y la comunicación no verbal con el público.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cuando la bailarina no está enfocada y
permite que su mente se desvíe hacia su lista de compra o cualquier otra cosa,
se corre el riesgo de perderse una señal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Cuando
bailamos, estamos enfocadas en el momento presente.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Somos más capaces de conectar positivamente
con los que nos rodean y celebrar la alegría de la vida.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Manténganse
atentos para más artículos sobre cómo cultivar una mente enfocada y encontrar
alegría en su vida y la danza.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Felices
Shimmies,<br />
Terri<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-25243256123191494272015-02-13T11:00:00.000-08:002015-04-17T12:40:39.748-07:00Happiness, life, and bellydanceBellydance makes us happy. That is one of the main reasons we do it. In January I was privileged<br />
to participate in the first ATS<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">®</span> Homecoming. I was so happy while I was there.<br />
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<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaGzFAa11ylcDz_32_02SthhuCisgzIlp8_piwVM4twQ6MZOQlVnkmH4hmZ4omCUEbgYe75lsPMx-EpQdsnhqHHrkXf0pC6U6SCg07rrir61pHYI6102WWfu1kTB2T-_ZmhOTeeZj364zk/s1600/pre-performance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaGzFAa11ylcDz_32_02SthhuCisgzIlp8_piwVM4twQ6MZOQlVnkmH4hmZ4omCUEbgYe75lsPMx-EpQdsnhqHHrkXf0pC6U6SCg07rrir61pHYI6102WWfu1kTB2T-_ZmhOTeeZj364zk/s1600/pre-performance.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dayanisma before performance</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
But when I got home I was so unhappy. Bleh- major post-event slump. Probably more than a slump, I was on the slippery slope and sliding into downright depression.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheCjmdtcLNo6GLiFfzjhIQOI4EYsiQYcci9frfeCe2SZhBLc4yZMD4Y4XayPEzzzNM8vLLYGcjyNHkMXPdKHm1QmfhPx01nh2EVgGMTABP7-YCNTwp9Yenw_TSHJQCIHr6LIq_pcdtyn_W/s1600/bed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheCjmdtcLNo6GLiFfzjhIQOI4EYsiQYcci9frfeCe2SZhBLc4yZMD4Y4XayPEzzzNM8vLLYGcjyNHkMXPdKHm1QmfhPx01nh2EVgGMTABP7-YCNTwp9Yenw_TSHJQCIHr6LIq_pcdtyn_W/s1600/bed.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<br />
So I decided to apply some of my professional knowledge to my personal life. At work this fall I reviewed all of the current literature on happiness. There is an entire field of study called Positive Psychology. These researchers tell us what makes people happy and how you can increase your own happiness.<br />
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Turns out, 50% of any person's happiness is temperament, or the way you are born/wired/set up. Only 19% is attributed to your circumstances. And a whopping 40% is controlled by INTENTIONAL ACTIVITY.<br />
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So I decided it was time to get intentional about improving my mood and getting back in my groove! <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAx2FTUyOkkcpRtuTAU4k6Npk6Hu7_XUYf7E5G2yxNSd5-no8sH1YXx8U-KKJRbG-wPoev8hBm2oyBxnAXsVUqOeF9hxUbgEcUnhe3O8hNKGibX98cgF4VAQxW7uKgzBaOa_uNl8G2CE5N/s1600/me+leading+baskets.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAx2FTUyOkkcpRtuTAU4k6Npk6Hu7_XUYf7E5G2yxNSd5-no8sH1YXx8U-KKJRbG-wPoev8hBm2oyBxnAXsVUqOeF9hxUbgEcUnhe3O8hNKGibX98cgF4VAQxW7uKgzBaOa_uNl8G2CE5N/s1600/me+leading+baskets.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo credit Sean Vallely</td></tr>
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The first thing I decided to do was to keep a Gratitude Journal. Every night I wrote down 3 things I was grateful for each day. I suggested my daughter do the same thing and she had a different take than me, she drew her gratitude. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi689mOPqbiP_i91nliMYU06AFEm5EowEVAPo2GlM5_51rSNi74FGFf4cARBxSCL_xo8EaP5w2gxReJ4h0uK58aG9dBolL3pmCVyUx2Hd9Uq_6h9_1jTDrnzx6yt6ILF65zZTmHWfdYhVuj/s1600/k+gratitude.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi689mOPqbiP_i91nliMYU06AFEm5EowEVAPo2GlM5_51rSNi74FGFf4cARBxSCL_xo8EaP5w2gxReJ4h0uK58aG9dBolL3pmCVyUx2Hd9Uq_6h9_1jTDrnzx6yt6ILF65zZTmHWfdYhVuj/s1600/k+gratitude.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">shared with permission from Kristin Draper</td></tr>
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Reminding myself of everything I am grateful for really improved my mood. I hope this suggestion was helpful. In my next blog I will make some more suggestions, including what I did that helped the most!<br />
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Until then, please share any suggestions you have on increasing happiness, especially in the wake of a big event.<br />
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<br />
xoxoxoxo,<br />
<br />
Lisa<br />
<br />
Terri here: If you feel sad about missing friends from ATS® Homecoming last year, or missing the event altogether.. you can register for <a href="http://www.atshomecoming.fcbd.com/" target="_blank">ATS® Homecoming: Phone Home</a> in Jan 2016 now!<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Felicidad, la vida y la danza<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">La danza nos hace felices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Esta es una de las razones principales por la cual lo hacemos. En enero tuve el privilegio de participar en el primer “ATS® Homecoming” Estaba muy feliz, mientras estuve allí.<br /> </span></div>
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<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Pero cuando llegué a casa estaba infeliz. En una gran baja luego del evento. Probablemente más que una baja, estaba al borde de una verdadera depresión.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Así que decidí aplicar a mi vida personal algunos de mis conocimientos profesionales.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>El pasado otoño en mi trabajo había revisado toda la literatura corriente relacionada a la felicidad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Existe un campo de estudio llamado Psicología Positiva dedicado exclusivamente al estudio de la felicidad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Los investigadores nos dicen qué es lo que hace feliz a las personas y cómo podemos aumentar nuestra propia felicidad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Resulta que 50% de la felicidad de cualquier persona está relacionada al temperamento o la forma en que nace o está configurada.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Solo el 19% se le atribuye a las circunstancias.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Y un 40% es controlado por la ACTIVIDAD INTENCIONAL o nuestra intención.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Así que decidí era hora de poner mi intención en mejorar mi estado de ánimo y regresar a mi estado de felicidad.</span><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Lo primero que decidí fue mantener un Diario de Gratitud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Todas las noches escribí tres cosas por las cuales estaba agradecida ese día.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Le sugerí a mi hija que hiciera lo mismo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Su visión fue diferente a la mía.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ella decidió dibujar su gratitud.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Recordarme de todo por lo cual estoy agradecida ha mejorado mucho mi estado de ánimo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Espero estas sugerencias les haya sido de utilidad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>¡En mi próximo blog les haré más sugerencias incluyendo que fue lo que hice que me ayudo grandemente!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Hasta entonces, por favor siéntanse en la libertad de compartir cualquier sugerencia que tengan en cuanto a cómo aumentar la felicidad, especialmente al regreso de un evento.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="-ms-word-break: normal; direction: ltr; line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: 2pt; margin-left: 0.2in; margin-top: 12pt; text-indent: -0.2in; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">xoxoxoxo,<br />Lisa<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917800090783741742.post-87996239099117713552015-01-30T13:54:00.003-08:002015-04-17T04:40:03.505-07:00Welcome to Third Eye TribalWe love to belly dance,<br />
<br />
... the joy of moving our bodies<br />
... the connection between dancers<br />
... the music and rhythm<br />
... the shared communication.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8kUct0bWRKMzWqSDip3n3ruJ0jeO1AiOTZJIcuPApFpvJFDwsnH5Omct9lNDoTvwvInnl0A66QGfevH7recSOH3bbuUhOYplqWOakz38_GXXKD3P6TjoP7ntb0mvvTyhm4puMWU2UynGu/s1600/t+and+me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8kUct0bWRKMzWqSDip3n3ruJ0jeO1AiOTZJIcuPApFpvJFDwsnH5Omct9lNDoTvwvInnl0A66QGfevH7recSOH3bbuUhOYplqWOakz38_GXXKD3P6TjoP7ntb0mvvTyhm4puMWU2UynGu/s1600/t+and+me.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
This blog is our gift to you. We will share reflections about getting the most from your dance experience. We will offer tips about how to successfully navigate relationships and troupe dynamics. We will suggest practical ways to find joy and happiness in your dance and personal relationships.<br />
<br />
We hope you decide to join us. <br />
<br />
Terri and Lisa<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Bienvenidos a “Third Eye Tribal”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Amamos la
Danza<br />
<br />
... la alegría de mover nuestros cuerpos<br />
... la conexión entre las bailarinas<br />
... la música y el ritmo<br />
... la comunicación compartida.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Este blog
es nuestro regalo para ustedes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Estaremos compartiendo reflexiones sobre cómo aprovechar al máximo tu
experiencia en el baile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ofreceremos
consejos sobre cómo manejar exitosamente las relaciones y las dinámicas de
grupo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Haremos sugerencias de formas
prácticas de encontrar la alegría en el baile y las relaciones personales.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Esperamos
decidas unirte a nosotras.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<span lang="ES-US" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-US;">Terri y
Lisa<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02232091372227248018noreply@blogger.com5